Closing Of A Chapter. Healing Mother Wound. Healing Through Breast Cancer.

It was only a couple of months since the breast cancer diagnosis and partial mastectomy in June 2018 when I found myself attending a disgruntled homeowners’ meeting.

What am I doing here? Why am I here? Is this something that I’d like to use my energies on or shouldn’t I focus on recovering and healing?

Those thoughts ran through my head as I listened to the incessant grievances from my neighbors, the majority of who I was meeting for the first time. [I had purchased my unit two decades ago, but I had been away and wasn’t staying in my unit more than I have lived here. So, I didn’t really know anyone from the building except for one Admin staff and a couple of residents out of 300+ units.]

I have this rescuer tendency which I’ve been so vigilant not falling into each time a crisis opportunity presents itself — which is often. Such opportunities easily gravitate towards me. I magnetize them. Am a sucker for it! It’s the Universe’s way of teaching me to set boundaries. To say no to the temptation to come to the rescue.

If this weren’t my home, oh it certainly wouldn’t be my business to meddle.

But it is. It is the future of my residence that’s at stake. If I’m merely renting, it sure isn’t prudent for me to get involved.

And that is the primary justification for my involvement. This is my home.

It didn’t take long for the other pieces of the puzzle to be revealed which, as I had intuited at the start, would make sense in the end.

The Pieces of the Puzzle.

My involvement kept me busy. It helped keep my mind off the breast cancer diagnosis. It prevented me from falling into the trap of feeling sorry for myself, self-blame, and endless [useless] analysis.

[By the way, for those who may be new to this site, I made a decision not to follow any of the treatments and procedures that the breast surgeon recommended. I have reached the point in my life when I’m ready to go. Seriously. I wrote about that here. If the alternative therapies that I chose would result in the cancer being treated, I’d be grateful. But my intention was simply to boost my immune system as it had indeed been compromised in recent years.]

My time was [still is] preoccupied with therapies that are helping bring my system back into a state of balance. In between therapies, I had spent my time in conversations and meetings, preparing communications and other tasks in connection with my involvement in our building state-of-affairs. I hardly had any time left to blog. Hence, my blogging lull in 2019.

My passion for writing was being fed through my involvement as I was in charge of the communications aspect including events. So, at some level, I had found joy and fulfillment in my participation.

Something, though, still didn’t quite click.

I realized what I was doing was really more of business writing — instead of creative writing, my truest passion.

So, my creative energies were still stifled. Limited. It wasn’t quite the kind of ‘flow’ that I wanted to go with. I wanted to go back to the ‘other flow’ that had fed my Soul since 2011 — blogging and sharing on this site.

The Gifts.

Despite the distresses and frustrations, the harmful impact on my health which, thankfully, I was able to manage, there were other gifts that my involvement brought me.

It didn’t take long for me to realize how much of my family of origin dynamics were at play in my residential complex involvement.

Oh yeah. There’s my family once more.

There’s Mom. There’s Dad. My only brother. All of my three sisters.

Image Source: https://pixabay.com/

There’s my family guised in the personalities of my neighbors, the building management and the Admin team.

For more than a decade now, I had made a decision to keep away from my family of origin. And there I was, interacting with them again. They just happen to be clothed in different apparel.

But it’s the exact same energies. Same unhealthy and unloving energy dynamics. The same dynamics from which I walked away.

In particular — and this is a most significant piece of this chapter of my journey — there’s the Executive Director who represents and embodies the energies of my mother.

Imagine this.

She looks like my mother. Their birthdays are only one day apart. They even attended the same high school!

What a synchronicity, eh? What a sense of humor the Universe has!

This time, though, I responded differently to the unkind and unfair energies.

I didn’t put up with it. Didn’t just keep mum about it.

I fought back. And I fought back hard. I asserted myself.

The very lessons and gifts of the wounds that I sustained from my abusive home and family environment.

I risked earning the ire of the Executive Director who I was assisting and to whom I was getting quite close during my early days of volunteering. I knew I was running the risk of her getting back at me by making things difficult for me especially when it comes to my requests — be it as a mere unit owner or a committee member. She’s been known to be quite vindictive [just like my mother!] — which I had proven to be quite accurate.

But I bit the bullet just the same.

It didn’t take long for me to muster the courage to bring to the attention of the Board of Directors an issue that would reflect badly on the Executive Director and for which only she is accountable and responsible. I wrote about that here.

Sure, I found myself in the similar back and forth “this-isn’t-right-why-is-Mom-treating-me-this-way-oh-but-she’s-my-mother” situation that I was stuck in with my mother for decades. Decades, not just years.

This time, it took me only a few days to take the plunge. DAYS. That’s a far cry and significant growth from decades, eh? Yeah! Kudos to me!!!

So, I may have been kept away from & didn’t have much time left for the mental & emotional processing following the breast cancer diagnosis, but I sure was going through the much needed next stage of healing of my mother wound — the emotional root cause of the left breast cancer which I wrote about here.

Now that I’m no longer involved in our toxic residential state-of-affairs [I submitted my letter of resignation less than a week ago], I’m spending my time integrating my experiences. 

I also now have the time to immerse myself in what has given me the most joy — blogging. I now have all the time to write and share about my thoughts and experiences — be it with this recent episode or others — and how they have blessed me with the opportunities to heal, grow, and transform.

Wait.

It gets better.

Not only was I able to quickly and easily disentangle from the harmful energies of my interactions with the people in my building and close off that chapter, the results of the last couple of blood exams and breast ultrasound that I had [the first was one year after the partial mastectomy-biopsy, the second was two months ago] show normalcy!!!

How cool is that, eh?

Amazing journey indeed! And so much to be grateful for and another reminder that Life is unfolding as how it is supposed to.

We simply need to continue Trusting. Believing. Keeping the Faith.

😇🌟🙏🌟😇

Copyright ©2011-2020 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Brightest & Magical Blessings!!! Om Shanti. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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6 Responses to Closing Of A Chapter. Healing Mother Wound. Healing Through Breast Cancer.

  1. Hi Nadine! Yay! So glad to see you back posting and normalcy on your last test!! 🙂
    Thanks for always sharing your journey with us. It is interesting to see how the Universe works and how we get other chances to conquer our lessons – even if they are a pain in the arse sometimes.
    I have a new name here – but this is Shawna – used to be shawnalightworker.
    Love you lots ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shawnaaaaaa! I’ve missed you! 😍 How are things with you?
      I’m happy to feel your familiar, loving, supportive energy!👋😇👏💓 And always happy to share my journey!😇
      Yeah, it’s been proven once more that the Universe indeed works in mysterious ways!😉
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting & spreading L💜ve!
      Much L💖ve & Big Hug🤗!!!

      Like

      • Hi Nadine! I’m hanging in there girlfriend. This year started off a little rough – my Grandma broke her arm and I’ve been helping her out. We had a blow out last year and didn’t talk for almost a year, so her breaking her arm as bad as it is – at least it brought us back together and we’re talking again.
        I have a few aunts that have been taking advantage of her since my Mom passed in 2017 and she wouldn’t set any boundaries. Things blew up the end of last year, which I knew they would and warned her about. One got her kicked out of her apartment, this isn’t the first time either. Lot of drama with that, but I know there are a lot of lessons we are learning with this situation too. Big one for me was that I’m not responsible for everyone, to stop rescuing, it’s not my job to fix, solve or change others. Sorry for the vent. But felt like getting that out – I do need to start blogging. 🙂
        I’m glad to see you and feel your loving and supportive energy!! ❤
        Wishing you all the best this year and always. Looking forward to hearing more from you!
        Love & Light,
        Shawna

        Liked by 1 person

        • Wow Shawna, that is some family drama! So sorry to hear you’ve had to go through some rough times. How’s Grandma situated? Better hopefully.

          Can’t help but smile as I was reading your insights from that episode, as I saw myself with those lessons. You & I do have a similar Soul journey, eh, Soul Sister?😉
          And yes. I was just about to ask you if the change in your WP name means the beginning of your long overdue blog. Please Shawna. The world stands to benefit from your learnings and insights.
          Looking forward to more conversations with you, sister!😍
          Much L💖ve & Big Hug🤗!!!Take care always!!!🙏🙏🙏

          Like

  2. Visionkeeper says:

    Wow! Nadine what a journey you have been on and how courageous you have been. You are the true meaning of walking through your fears head on….So glad you received the “Normalcy” verdict and all is well….Someday we will realize we are the ones making ourselves sick and healing comes from the very things we fear! Keep on my friend, I am so proud of you and how far you’ve come! Sending you tons of love and a big hug…..VK ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, VK! Appreciate the kind words!☺🙏☺
      Yeah, what a journey this has been, whew! And still going!😉 Not a few times am I in awe at how courageous and adventurous is the path that my Soul has chosen!….Yes, hopefully all of humanity realizes that all the illnesses that have manifested at the physical level are just largely a result of the imbalances in our energies.
      Thank you for the L💖ve & the hug 🤗 which I’m sending right back!!! 💖🙏💜

      Liked by 1 person

🌛🙏💖🌟🌞Would love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and wisdom!!!🌞🌟💞🙏🌜

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