How clear and strong am I in my resolve about letting go of a long-held dream — since 1999 — of a healing center and a healing practice was put to the test very recently.
I got reconnected with two individuals who I met when I was in the early stages of my healing journey.
One of them is the Reiki Master under whom I received attunements and trained as a Reiki practitioner. She was setting up a healing center and recruiting founding members and practitioners at the time. She and I talked about me being part of the center.
Like all the other countless opportunities and offers in my manifestation process of the healing center, it would also eventually be blocked by the Universe.
I have not had any contact with them since the early 2000s. Recently, following my diagnosis of breast cancer, I reached out to these healing practitioners wanting to receive some healing energies through regular reiki healing sessions — and through a female/mother figure.
Unexpectedly, they offered me to be part of the center again and share my gifts.
I’m so appreciative and grateful for their offer.
But I have already found out and proven to myself how to best share my gifts and in a way that gives me the most joy — and that is through writing, blogging and sharing on this site.
My Rescuing Tendency As the Driving Force
This dream of a healing center — which came to my awareness in 1999 — turned out to be something that was born out of my deeply embedded rescuing tendency.
My intentions were not pure. I was coming from a space of lack. My woundedness and brokenness was my driving force.
I’m grateful that my deep and extensive inner work over the years made me so much aware of such an unhealthy pattern and tendency. I have been addressing it — and with much success, thankfully.
Writing, blogging, and sharing are my passion and sources of joy.
While I initially intended for this blog site to be a marketing tool for me and my supposed would be healing practice, it has since become my virtual healing center. It continues to evolve as I evolve and transition.
A healing center and healing practice, I realized, is only ONE way to live purposefully. There are many other ways.
There are so many avenues through which we can express our Light and our Divinity.
There are so many ways that our missions can be expressed and accomplished.
All that I had envisioned and wanted to share and ‘teach’ through a physical healing center and practice, I can accomplish through this blog site with my writing and sharing.
I intend to keep it that way and keep my focus and direction there. I have not felt any nudge to take a different direction or path.
And my travels — inner and outer — have led me to those that give me joy — writing, reading, swimming daily in the sea, practicing yoga, dancing, being in nature, walking and hiking, watching sunsets/sunrises/moonrises, watching movies (in whatever medium is available)….
Engaging in these is what brightens my Light. Engaging in these is what keeps my vibrational frequency high.
Doing otherwise weighs me down; it dims my light.
My Biggest Contribution
Keeping my Light brightly shining is the most significant contribution I can make.
When I am in Joy, when my Light is beaming brightly, whoever I come in contact with is touched by that Light. They are healed and transformed by my mere Presence and my Beaming Light.
When I share my experiences, insights, reflections, and wisdom — be it through writing or verbal communications and conversations in my daily living — without me intending to, without me forcing it, without me focusing on it, I can touch people’s lives and make a difference. I AM doing my work and carrying out my mission.
I don’t have to be ‘busy’ to be useful or productive or purposeful.
And I continue to trust that the ripple effect will happen on its own without me having to figure out how what I have shared with an individual will reach other people.
If it is intended to stay with that one person, then so be it; if it is supposed to reach others, it will.
Neither is less significant than the other; both are equally noteworthy.
I’m not counting, and I know God isn’t.
I’m not focusing on how or how many I’m able to ‘help.’
My focus is on engaging in only those that bring me joy because that translates to the joy that I radiate and emanate to my surroundings.
I do not even concern myself with how I will reach the people whose lives I can touch. I AM fully trusting that the Universe will bring them to me and I to them.
‘Teaching’ and ‘helping’ and how I ‘help’ have also taken a different meaning and form for me.
The message of my guides that was relayed to me by my spiritual friend/counselor in 2010 has become so much clearer to me —
“If I could make a difference even in only one person’s life, I would have done my work.”
I continue to remind myself of that each time I get pulled into the “the more, the merrier” paradigm or the “selfless” way as the only way of helping or making a difference — as was my encounter with these two practitioners.
I’m so grateful that I’ve reached this point in my life where such paradigms no longer influence me.
I’m equally grateful that I have healed myself enough to no longer need to prove or show anything to the world — especially in the material or physical form — as validation or measurement of my self-worth.
Hence, the need to manifest a physical healing center or be part of one has lost its lure.
Thank you for the gift, but no thank you.
I’m grateful that I was able to spot the energies immediately.
When these individuals recognized my Light, I would have jumped right away, jumped in joy and taken up on their offers, foregoing my realizations, shifts, and decisions — if I was still the needy, wounded, broken Nadine looking for the validation, attention, acceptance, approval, affection, and affirmation.
I AM glad and grateful that they recognized my Light.
And I can just thank them and the cosmos for such a gift. Nothing more has to come out of it or be done about it other than me being grateful and appreciative for their gift of recognizing my Light.
I’m so grateful that I didn’t take a long and winding road — as I usually have done — to see the familiar energies playing out.
I’m so grateful that I was quickly able to say, immediately and effortlessly —
Thank you for the gift, but no thank you.