I’m feeling incredibly sad. Melancholic. Mournful. It is that feeling when something has come to an end.
There isn’t any particular relationship or experience in my life that has ended. None, at least, that I’m aware of.
So, what’s triggering this? Where is this gloomy feeling coming from? I can’t quite put a finger on it.
Does this have anything to do with the prevalent energies? The eclipse and the full moon?
The current eclipse, after all, is touted to be a most potent one — whatever that truly means. I haven’t really been digging much into ‘The Great [American] Eclipse’ — despite the ‘hype’ and with all due respect.
I don’t want to be influenced by what I read or hear about. I want my experience to be organic. I want to just flow with the energies.
And right now, I am enveloped by the energies of sadness.
I’ve also been discerning if what I’m experiencing is sadness or loneliness. Or both.
I think it’s both.
True Confessions of a Terrible Blogger
During these moments of melancholy, I immediately go to my WordPress reader and see what other bloggers are sharing.
I’m instantly led to one of her previous posts, True Confessions of a Terrible Blogger. Much of what she shared there echoes my sentiments. (No wonder, I was led to it!)
I had already ‘liked’ her post at the time that she published it. But it didn’t quite hit me then as much as it did now.
And it boils down to CONNECTION. The need to feel connected. Be it online or in person.
“I have no interest in trying to be “someone”, or garner an adoring crowd (well, actually, that part sounds pretty good. haha!)
So why write here? What is it that keeps me coming back (albeit sporadically), year after year, even after weeks and months of being MIA?
It’s simple, really. I long to connect. To reach out and touch someone and maybe, if I’m lucky, have them touch back. To write something and have someone say, “Hey, me, too!” or “I totally get you!”
Being “get” cannot be rated highly enough.”
Janice articulated for me what it is that moves me to come back to this site and share.
In my earlier years of blogging — and up until recently — it was largely my need for approval that I was unknowingly fulfilling. I’ve shared about that quite a bit on this site.
Thankfully, I’m much more aware and mindful now of that unhealthy pattern.
More than and rather than seeking to fill an unmet childhood need for approval or validation, I write and share because of the thrill that I get when I’m told that someone else is also going through a similar experience. Or they share my beliefs or perspective. Or what I wrote is exactly what they need to hear.
I’m thrilled when I’m told that we share the same thoughts, emotions, or sentiments. That they feel the same way. They feel me. They get me. And I, in turn, get them.
Hearing “Me, too!” is music to my ears. To anyone’s ears. It is nourishment for my soul and human self! It makes me, it makes us feel connected.
I get such a high when I’m able to touch someone’s life through my writing and sharing. And it is the same high that I get when they, in turn, touch mine.
And something as simple as a ‘like’ in my post gives me that feeling of connection. That joyful feeling of fulfillment. Seeing a notification of someone ‘liking’ my post makes a huge difference and impact to me. If you only know…..
Especially more so when I come across others’ posts that echo my state of being, wow!
And I’ve just been reminded how impactful a seemingly insignificant act of ‘liking’ a post can be to someone. That I mustn’t hold back or be stingy about it.
To be Seen, Heard, Acknowledged, Valued, and Honored.
The need to belong is a universal need. It is shared by all of humanity.
To be seen, heard, acknowledged, valued, and honored is as essential to our well-being as food, clothing, and shelter.
And it is this need, the longing, and desire for CONNECTION that is at the crux of this feeling of sadness and loneliness that I’m now experiencing.
And thanks to Janice, for being instrumental in leading me back to that truth. My truth. To acknowledge it and to speak it.
Indeed, “Being ‘get’ cannot be rated highly enough.”
🕉 🙏🕉 🙏🕉