We all have our fair share of those times of loss. Confusion. When nothing’s going right. One unfortunate experience after another. One closed door after the next.
I was in such a period recently. Still am actually. At its tail-end, hopefully.
I’m hoping this ‘dark period’ in my journey is in its concluding phase. That the last ‘episode of the drama’ which took place in early March is the last of the endless humps — of this series of humps, at least.
Last month, as I was attempting to make sense of all the ‘darkness,’ I came across this moving post from Ari Kopel, The Sound of Silence — The Meaning. I was struck by how she dissected the lyrics of the song and what it meant to her with which I so resonated.
In her post, Ari included the cover version of The Sound of Silence by the Disturbed band — the one when Myles Kennedy guest-performed with them. It was my first time to have listened to and watched it. Oh, was I so moved by the performance! ❤ 🙂
At the time, though, I watched it only a couple of times. I didn’t make much of it then.
A few days ago, I felt this compelling nudge to research on Darkness. On the Dark Night of the Soul.
I began revisiting my definition and beliefs around Darkness. My relationship with it and how I deal with it.
In my last post, I talked about how I had to put a stop to my unhealthy habits that were not helping me cope with my challenges. They only made me even more stuck — not surprisingly.
But I’m mindful now that my reason and my intention for dealing with this ‘darkness’ is not to get out of the darkness. Rather, to be with it. Sit with Darkness. To navigate through instead of going around it.
When I started eating unhealthily and was remiss in my exercises (physical, spiritual, mental & emotional), I was escaping the darkness. I was dealing with it by not dealing with it. Running away from it, in fact.
I was avoiding the Void. I didn’t want to hear the Sound of Silence.
I had — still have — quite a strong repulsion against Darkness. I’m still uncomfortable with it. There’s still so much of the old conditioning, falsehood, and fear about Darkness that is still deeply ingrained in my psyche.
How can I actually embrace the idea that being in this Space of Darkness is as much a blessing, a gift, something for which to be most grateful — as is the Space of Light? How can I fully embody that and not just know it intellectually?
How can I see the “Dark” as a blessing while I’m in it and not after I’ve left it and shifted over to the “Light”?’
Light and Dark. Yin and Yang.
I must learn to celebrate Darkness in the same way and to the degree that I celebrate Light.
I need to get to be in the State of Joy while being in the space of Darkness. To delight in it. To overcome the resistance and repulsion. To move through my fear of it. And to do so with Grace and Ease.
How can I just view Darkness as the Yin to the Yang — without any biases or judgments against it? How can I see the relationship of Darkness with Light as I do the Yin and Yang principle?
I certainly have no repulsion with the Yin and Yang concept. I know — in every fiber of my being — that the Yin and Yang are complementary. They are essential in creating balance — in life, in nature, everywhere. I know that. I see that. I see it so clearly from the Yin and Yang perspective.
Why can I not have the same belief, attitude, and view about Light and Dark? And how? Might it just be semantics?
Maybe if I refer to the ‘Dark Period’ as simply being in a Yin Period, perhaps that is what will help it shift for me. Maybe I can begin with that, eh?
A couple of days ago, I revisited Ari’s post. It didn’t take long for me to start listening to The Sound Of Silence — several times this time. And I watched different versions and renditions of it. And the song keeps playing in my head — even as I’m writing now.
This, as I allow the uncertainties, questions, and confusion to rise to the surface.
I’m no heavy metal rock fan. But this version of Disturbed has undoubtedly deeply touched me to my core — with all due respect to Simon & Garfunkel who certainly have an equally touching rendition with its own uniqueness that speaks of the duo’s art and sound.
Maybe it also has to do with where I’m at in my journey. There’s just something about the energy and power in the voice of vocalist David Draiman that speaks volumes of my inner experiences — and their outer manifestations.
And as I allow the questions to reverberate in my mind, may I begin to hear the whispers of the Sound Of Silence, as the answers find their way, echoing in the hallways of my soul, while I utter,
“Thank you, Darkness, my old friend….”
⭐ ❤ 😀 ❤ ⭐