The tumultuousness of 2016 which spilled over to the first quarter of 2017 found me eating unhealthily.
Oh, you cannot even imagine how much chocolate cakes I consumed within that period! It’s probably equivalent to the sum of all the chocolate cakes I’d eaten in all the prior 53 years of my earthly existence! Seriously! 😮 😮
I had also been remiss in my physical exercise regime. Ditto with centering, grounding, and other spiritual practices as well as clearing and other emotional releasing exercises.
Add to that, I allowed myself to keep abreast with the goings-on in the political arena, yikes! 😮 I convinced myself that it was a ‘purposeful’ distraction — that it was giving me the opportunity to hone my skill of being a Compassionate Observer. I ‘somehow’ accomplished that. But for the most part, for the majority of the time, it was consuming me!!! 😮 😮 😮
I made myself believe that being up-to-date with the political scenario was a ‘healthy alternative’ to keep myself from over-thinking, over-processing, over-analyzing my personal situation — one of my stronger suits! That it was my coping mechanism to help reduce the stress when it was, in fact, maladaptive. An escape! 😮
Hence, I followed a potent formula guaranteed not just for gaining weight but having an imbalanced state of being! A perfect and most effective recipe for my system to go out of whack! To quickly lower my vibrational frequency! 😦
And that is what exactly happened! Shouldn’t be any surprises there, eh?
Given that, how could I have possibly made wise choices, right? Given how muddled my system had become, how could I have been able to discern and use my better judgment to choose what is the next rightful step?
No way could that have happened. No way.
Disconnected from Source
I was so disconnected and misaligned from the Divine Flow and Intelligence. I was so far removed from a space of Balance, Wholeness, and Clarity. Far, far removed from it.
And when we have lost our connection to Source, we operate out of Fear. We create from Fear.
Being in a place of Fear and Worry isn’t the space to be in when we’re creating, choosing and making decisions. Our choices, decisions, and creations are uninspired. The actions and steps that we take make us even more disconnected from Source.
And that ,is one of the reasons, if not the main reason that every decision that I made and every step that I took after my Antique misadventure in December 2016, led me to a dead-end situation — leaving me deadened. 😦 😦 😦
When One Door Closes…..
I forced open every closed door that I encountered. And I crashed on the floor. Hard.
I hit my head. Bruised my knee.
Bumps. Thuds. Bangs.
None of those, though, prevented me from pursuing and charging ahead.
Oh, was I so relentless! 😮 😮 😮
It’s been said that when God closes a door, a window opens. At times, it isn’t just a window that opens. At times, many times, another door opens. Several doors, in fact.
How could I not have thought of that or told myself that last year? How could I, why was I so adamant on that lone closed door?
Why did I not give myself the chance to look around, to observe and wait for other doors to appear?
Why did I not take a step back and make sure that I was centered considering how deadbeat I had been?
Pause. Breathe. Be Still.
I knew — intellectually — that’s what I needed to ‘do.’ But I didn’t do it.
No point in having regrets, eh? No sense in beating myself up for my unwise choices.
And I’m telling myself that given the circumstances, my skill set and level of consciousness, at the time, I did as best I could — like we all do.
And that is good enough.
And I must focus on the lessons learned — to put them into practice. Be extra vigilant that I apply them now to my current state and situation — that a healthy lifestyle and integrated practice is essential in moving smoothly out of a crisis. Nothing else.
And I did. I just recently did. I put into practice what I was reminded of.
Enough, Universe. Please. Enough.
Three weeks ago, there was yet another drama-filled, action-packed (!) episode of the production that has been incessantly unfolding in my life.
I’d like to believe it is the final episode. As lovely soul sister Leigh of Not Just Sassy On The Inside commented in my earlier post, I’m hoping it is the last hump — of this phase of my journey, at least.
Enough of the drama. Enough of the chaos.
I want and need to stop this cycle of turbulence.
On bended knees and in all humility, I cried out and pleaded to the Universe,
“Enough, Universe. Please. Enough.”
And then it dawned on me.
Is it up to the Universe or is it up to me?
I made the decision to put an end to my unhealthy habits that have left me so misaligned.
I’ve come back to eating healthily, exercising more regularly, and incorporating my spiritual practices again into my daily routine. Slowly. Gently. Yay!!! 😀
I started blogging again. After posting sporadically over the past 12 months, I published a post where I talked about how I miss writing and showing up on the page. And I have since been posting on a more regular basis. Yay!!! 😀
I no longer obsess with the political domain. I still keep myself informed — to a much lesser degree. But I’m now quick to detach myself and just compassionately observe as best I can. Yay!!! 😀
I’m closing the doors to all those unhealthy practices — and I’m keeping them locked! 😉
I had a taste once more of what it’s like to create with the Old, Fear-based Consciousness. Not that I didn’t know that already.
But I needed to be reminded — again! — as I continue with the clearing, dismantling, and letting go of the old.
And may my resolve be strong enough simply walk past any of those closed doors — along with any other doors that have long ago closed — those that have already served their purposes. May those doors stay the way they are supposed to — closed!
And may I come back to the Knowing that other doors will appear, other opportunities will show up — those to which I will be Divinely Led, and those from which I can Choose Wisely and Create Joyfully!
⭐ ❤ 😀 ❤ ⭐