One reason I hadn’t posted much in the past year is, I had so many questions which to this day, even as I’m writing now, remain unanswered.
The more I pushed for the answers, the more evasive they were.
When something is for us, it comes into our life effortlessly. We may put so much effort into getting it. We exert too much, determined to get it. And we may, in the end, attain it.
But at what expense? To what or whose detriment?
Oh, I’ve experienced this countless times. Numerous are the instances when I’ve gotten myself in trouble because I was so relentless even as the red flags were so clear and visible! 😮 😮 😮
But it is something that I’m still mastering. The Art and Skill of Allowing. Surrendering. Flowing.
This, vis-à-vis Forcing. Pushing. Insisting.
Sure, this lesson has become so much more pronounced over the years. It has become so much clearer while I was living at the seaside.
But I still need to be vigilant about when I must put to good use my Taurus stubbornness and determination — as my recent series of chaotic experiences have clearly pointed out to me.
Life Turned Upside Down
One such question that I have yet to gain full clarity is why my life has turned upside down since I left the resort at Sugar Beach in November 2015.
Every choice that I made after that, particularly with the place in which to live, turned out disastrous! 😮 😮 😮
Every decision I made only brought me deeper into this dark hole — a place where I’m still at, admittedly. This space of uncertainty. Of the unknown. Of being clueless. Clueless not so much on what’s going to happen next, but what choices must I make to take me — to bring me back — to a place of Joy which has been quite elusive for over a year now! Argh!!! 😮 😮 😮 😮 😮
Why did it turn out to be so tragic and traumatic?
I had arrived at a space of completion when I left the resort where I last stayed at Sugar Beach. My energies were so aligned. I made sure of that.
Why the horrible results then? Where did I go wrong? What did I miss out on? Were there warning signs that I did not pay attention to?
Sure, I’ve had some insights and realizations since that horrific Antique episode. But not enough to convince me. Not enough to make me feel complete and at peace. To make me go, “Yeah, that’s it! That’s what it is!”
Nope. I haven’t arrived at that space. Not yet.
A Shift — The Universe’s Call to Action
I know I need to direct my attention elsewhere.
I must focus my energies on something other than frantically (?!?!?) wanting to gain clarity. I must stop insisting (?!?!?) on getting the answers. On seeking and chasing them.
I must let them come to me.
In fact, I must stop myself from wanting to figure it all out.
When I’d have shifted where I focus my energies, I will most likely, surprise myself and wake up one morning — or in the middle of the evening — and find myself declaring, “I got it!”
Sure, I haven’t quite gotten it. I haven’t quite gotten my act together yet.
But I know that I will. I know that I will be able to figure this all out. When everything will just click. When it’ll all just feel so right.
And the irony of it all is I’ll figure it out when I stop figuring it out. When I let go of the need to figure it out right away. To figure it all out right now!
And that’s what I’m releasing with this post. This incessant need to control.
And I’m gifting myself with the opportunity to Dance with the Unknown.
To relax in it.
To Relax in the Unknown.
And rather than dread (?!?!?) what will come out of this, rather than be anxious (?!?!?) how or when I will get out of this unknown territory, I’m keeping myself open and choosing to be excited about the possibilities!
I’m strengthening my Confidence. I Trust in the Divine Intelligence. I Believe in the Abundance and Limitless Support of the Universe.
I may not know yet many of the answers.
But one thing I know is that the Known will make itself known out of the Unknown.
⭐ ❤ 😀 ❤ ⭐