I Miss Writing. I Miss The Conversation.

I miss writing.

I miss seeing the words come alive on my laptop screen. I miss the exhilaration when what is communicated is expressed exactly how it wants to. How it is supposed to.

I miss writing. I miss showing up on the page. Dialoguing with it. Dancing with the page.

I miss that.

I miss the feeling of contentment. Of Bliss. Joy. That refreshing feeling when words just effortlessly flow. When my fingers and the keyboard are merely instruments through which whatever message needs to be said is aptly conveyed. When what wants and needs to be written is given its rightful voice, space, and attention.

Much has happened the past several months that is worth sharing. So, so much.

But I’ve held back for various reasons, one of which is legal implications — a dilemma most commonly faced by memoir writers.

I guess I’m in that phase in my journey where I am given the opportunity to master the life skill of RESPONSIBILITY.

Responsible Writing and Sharing. Speaking and Writing my Truth. Mindfully. Responsibly. I’m being reminded of that.

I’m being reminded that there are consequences to all my choices and decisions. That every word, thought, or action does not end with the utterance of the word, the having of the thought, or the execution of the deed.

There is a rippling effect that may not be known to me at the time that I think it, speak it, or take action. But there sure is an impact on myself as well as the collective.

What I put out comes back to me. What I give so shall I receive. What goes around comes around.

Life eventually balances itself out, eh? All the time.

And it’s kind of interesting — Divine Synchronicity is what it is again most certainly — that the ‘mess’ that I’ve been finding myself getting entangled in involves people who have not acted responsibly.

The Blamers.

Those who refuse to accept and acknowledge their wrongdoings. Those who refuse to own up to their shortcomings. Those who believe that everyone else is at fault except them.

It takes humility to admit that one made a mistake. To the self-aware individual, it is a non-issue. A no-brainer. Admission of one’s misstep is automatic. Organic. There’s no second guessing. It is, in fact, empowering and freeing. As a matter of fact, the self-aware feels burdened when they know they have offended someone and have not offered an apology and extended a hand to make amends.

But to the unevolved, extending a hand — or anything for that matter — is unheard of. Unthinkable. The unevolved’s auto-response is washing one’s hands. It is the easiest and most convenient route. To look and point the other way. To blame the other. The unevolved refuses to come clean.

The Blamers. The Manipulators. The Poor-Me’s.

I have had to deal with such lot. And they have ‘blessed’ me with the opportunity to set boundaries. To assert myself. To not get pulled into their dramas. To not get sucked into the toxicity of their energies. To not get on the Karpman Drama Triangle — or get off it as quickly as I recognize the power struggle.

The Karpman Drama Triangle is a model that illustrates the energy dynamics of abusive home and dysfunctional family environments.

There are three roles involved — Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer. The model applies not only to dysfunctional homes. It is also commonly played out in dysfunctional and unhealthy human relationships and social interactions. I’ve written about one example of how it played out in my own life here. Lynn Forest also wrote an excellent piece on the topic which you can read here.

It’s been quite exhausting dealing with the energies of manipulation, deception, betrayal, blaming, and victimhood — again. But they’ve come — for the nth time — to bless me with yet another opportunity to go even deeper in the healing of my childhood wound — a “gift” for which I’m most grateful.

However, being able to identify the gift behind such challenging encounters DOES NOT make their selfish, irresponsible, immature and disrespectful behaviors less wrong or more allowable. Absolute not! They are just as inappropriate and unacceptable. Intolerable. Inexcusable. Enough for me to keep away from them. Boundaries, remember?

And I miss writing about such experiences and the insights that I’ve gained.

I miss writing and sharing about my realizations and how I’ve grown from my experiences — even and especially the most challenging and tragic ones such as those from which I’m still in the process of disentangling. And to think that this predicament of being ‘homeless’ started over a year ago, whew!!! 😮 😮 😮

I miss writing. I miss the dialogue. The conversation. I miss dialoguing not only with the page but with fellow travelers.

And may this post serve as the beginning of my coming back to the page. Of coming back to the conversation.

⭐ ❤ 😀 ❤ ⭐

Copyright © 2011-2017 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

Advertisements

About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
This entry was posted in Consciousness & Awareness, Inspiration, journey, Relationships, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to I Miss Writing. I Miss The Conversation.

  1. Leslie says:

    Nadine Marie,
    I have missed you and your writing.
    The echo of my own world reverberates in your post.

    Namasteʻ
    Leslie

    Like

  2. I find even writing a daily blog, there is always the balance of what to share/not share — what is mine to share/what is not mine.

    Good for you for recognizing the distinctions. And for honouring your own process.

    And as I’ve often been told… keep writing it out…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve missed you. I love the way you write and express yourself by writing it out. I can always relate in some way. Love you ❤ Namaste'

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the kind words, Shawna! I so appreciate them and YOU! ❤ I've missed you too! And I'm glad you/we can relate — does make us feel less alone in this journey, eh? 😀 ❤ Thank you for saying that! 🙂

      I was actually just thinking about you, Shawna, as I was going through some of my posts last night. I came across one of your comments to which I replied asking for what is your new WordPress site as the link of your username is missing/not working…. 😮

      Connect soon….Brightest Blessings to a Brightest LightBeamer!!! Namaste. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

      Like

      • Hey love! Thank you for the kind words. Sorry I never got back to you on that one. I don’t have a blog but that is one of my goals this year is to start a blog – find my voice and start expressing and speaking my truth. You give me a lot of inspiration Nadine – Brightest LightBeamer! :0)
        I love the way you write and wish to write like you some day. The way you write is almost like ASMR to me. It’s very relaxing and soothing to my soul. To see how courageous you are on your journey, even when you don’t feel like it, makes me so proud of you and gives me hope! :))
        I have been so busy in my spare time, studying and preparing myself to hopefully start my own Angel Card Reader business. I keep holding myself back thinking I’m not ready, or one more class, one more book, etc. You know how the ego does. But I recently decided I’m going to start before I’m ready – my new mantra, thanks to Marie Forleo. 😉
        There is only so much more of this corporate world I can take, I’m ready to break these golden handcuffs. I’ve had a lot of changes this year and more to come, aligning me with my purpose and truth. Thank you for being an Earth Angel and spiritual mentor. I’m honored to be one of your students.
        Love & Light

        Liked by 1 person

        • I am looking forward to reading your posts, Shawna! Let me know please when you’ve launched your site, ok?
          It sure is reassuring to be told that my writing is serving as an inspiration. Each time I receive comments such as what you said, it inspires me to inspire. Thank you, Shawna! 😀
          I’m sure your writing will be just as relaxing and soothing whomever it is intended.
          Yes, this journey sure isn’t for the faint of heart! And again, thank you for the encouraging words! 🙂
          The Angel Card Reader business sounds exciting! One thing I’ve learned being on this path is that our Soul can be so stubborn and determined and will not stop until we align with our true North.
          Ahhhh…the corporate world. I had my fair share of that. No regrets. In fact, there is so much to be grateful for. There may have come a time when I felt that I no longer belonged there, but I know that having been in that world is very much a part of my journey. And I can so relate to that restlessness that you’re experiencing. Our Soul will certainly not give up until we give in! 😉
          I am humbled Shawna to have played the role of spiritual mentor to you. I am equally honored! Thank you! ❤ 🙂
          Much Love to you, too, dear ❤ !!! Namaste. 😀 ⭐

          Like

  4. candidkay says:

    Oh, the perils of memoir writing. I have many posts–and chapters–in me that have not seen the light of day because of potential hurts and ramifications. And I regret not writing them and putting them away for a time because now they are not fresh. I feel your pain . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Relaxing In The Unknown | Aligning With Truth

  6. Pingback: Of Closed Doors & Unhealthy Lifestyle Choices | Aligning With Truth

Any thoughts or feelings while Aligning With Truth?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s