How I Fell In The Rescuer Trap

My rescuer tendency is as much a personal as well as a collective pattern. (Come to think of it, is there any pattern that isn’t both personal and collective, considering we are all interconnected? Hmmmm….)

On a collective level, rescuing, saving, and caretaking are the energies and themes of the near-ending —or just ended? — Piscean Age. Many of us have begun to move away from such disempowering energies, as we shift into the Aquarian Age energies of self-empowerment.

To want to rescue is also an effect of the disaster that took place during the Fall of Atlantis — and perhaps all other catastrophes throughout civilization history.

We unconsciously now want to prevent the ‘Fall’ to happen again — whether we were the ones who ‘caused’ the disaster, or we were the ‘victims’ when it happened. We instinctually rescue in the hope of preventing another catastrophe. Of course, such does not serve anyone any good.

Chiron Return. Roots & Origins. Empathy & Sensitivity.

On a personal level, it is my unmet childhood need for attention, affirmation, appreciation, acceptance and affection that’s behind my tendency to rescue and caretake.

The story of my rejection that I earlier wrote about extensively on this site parallels the story of Chiron, the Wounded Healer. His story is, like mine, also about shame.

Chiron represents our core wound. Its placement in our natal chart indicates where we are most wounded. In my natal chart, Chiron is in the sign of Pisces and my fourth house.

Pisces is the sign of martyrdom. It is associated with empathy, sensitivity, and compassion — traits that make the individual want to heal, help and be of service to others. When out of balance, the individual has the propensity to rescue — to the point of sacrificing one’s self and one’s well-being. Martyrdom at its finest! 😉

The fourth house is the house associated with roots, origin, childhood, home, environment, relationship with the father. There are differing views on this, though.

There are types of astrology that describe the fourth house as the one associated with the relationship with the father, while the opposite, the tenth house is the one associated with the mother. Others claim the other way around — the fourth house is associated with the relationship with the mother, and the tenth is with the father.

This much I can say. Either way, both apply to me. My deepest wounds stem from my relationship with both my father and my mother! 😮

My natal chart: Chiron is in my fourth house, the house associated with our roots and origins, home base, family in general, father image and relationship to the real father. Chiron is in the sign of Pisces, conjunct Jupiter, opposite Pluto, trine Neptune.

My natal chart: Chiron is in my fourth house, the house associated with our roots and origins, home base, family in general, father image and relationship to the real father. Some types of astrology describe the other way around — the fourth house is associated with the relationship with the mother, and its opposite house, the tenth is with the father. Either way, both apply to me. My deepest wounds stem from my relationship with both my father and my mother! Chiron is in the sign of Pisces, conjunct Jupiter, opposite Pluto, trine Neptune. Pisces is the sign of martyrdom and is associated with empathy, sensitivity, and compassion — traits that make the individual want to heal, help and be of service to others.

I began my most pivotal astrological Chiron Return phase in early 2013. It is the time when Chiron goes back to its original position in our natal chart.

Chiron ‘returns’ to its house and sign placements when we were born. It represents the time when we revisit our core wounds. We are given the opportunity to make peace with the wound, find the gift underneath, and determine how sharing the gift can benefit others.

Chiron was in the sign of Pisces from 1960 to 1969. It transited in the sign of Pisces in April 2010 and will continue to be there until 2018/2019.

Those of us born in the 60s are now being given the opportunity to revisit and heal our core wounds where our biggest growth and transformation would arise! 🙂

The past five years have certainly been the most intense time for my healing, clearing and integrating. And I know that how I deal with the energies will define and set the course of the next half of my life.

I’ve written on this site quite a bit about Chiron Return, and you can find some of them here, here, here, and here.

Rejection. Shame. Martyrdom.

Chiron’s mother rejected him simply for being himself.

My parents likewise rejected me for my looks particularly the color of my skin. I’m the one with the darkest skin tone compared to my other siblings who are fair-skinned.

Because of this, I was the subject of constant teasing and shaming — from my parents as well as siblings, and eventually some of our other family relations. I never complained and expressed my true feelings and resentments. I simply sulked and suffered in silence. 😦

My birth also wasn’t joyously welcomed because of my gender. After being blessed with two daughters, my parents were looking forward to having a boy.

So, when my brother was born after me, the only boy in the family, it was a time for celebration. This, plus me being the middle child — it was the perfect formula for being relegated to the background! 😮

Severely Blocked and Dysfunctional Root Chakra

Not surprisingly, I grew up having a very low self-esteem. A low sense of self-worth. A severely blocked and dysfunctional root chakra, the seat of groundedness and rootedness. Abandonment and trust issues are only two in my long list of issues and dysfunctional habits and patterns.

The two archetypes associated with the root chakra are the Victim and Mother. A blocked root chakra manifests as an imbalance in how these archetypal influences play out in our life.

I’ve been chronically driven to self-sacrificing generosity — the dysfunctional archetypal energies of the Victim, Martyr, and Servant, as opposed to the healthy and positive influences of the Mother, Emperor/Empress, and Warrior.

I looked outside of myself for validation. For ways to feel valued. To feel that I mattered. Ways that would make me feel accepted — naturally, after the rejection that I faced at the onset during birth.

And one of the unconscious ways that I did this was through rescuing and caretaking.

Rather than mother and parent myself, the healthier and empowering way to heal one’s self, I found ways to mother — smother — others in the hope of feeling mothered and valued. To compensate for the lack of mothering during my childhood.

Thus began my long, unconscious — and apparently, still on-going — dance with rescuing and caretaking. A dance that is taking longer than I had hoped.

😀 😀

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Copyright © 2011-2015 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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6 Responses to How I Fell In The Rescuer Trap

  1. I let a man rescue me once and it was a disaster; I finally let Jesus, the Christ of God, rescue me FROM myself and reliance on external things and NOW I am free, delighted with Life, and my soul can finally rest as it has found the One it Loves, my First Love, the Creator of all life!!!!!!!! God bless you! ~Yvonne

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