Law Of Mirroring, Law Of Attraction, And Not Taking Things Personally

I used to believe that the Law of Mirroring governs everything.

When there’s something about someone that I can’t stand, it is because that person is reflecting back to me an aspect of myself that I haven’t fully accepted. When there’s something admirable about someone, it is because I, too, have that potential in me. I also possess the same commendable trait. I simply have not developed it yet.

Operating from this paradigm for several years, I incessantly dug deep inside of me for any ‘shadow’ aspects that I have disowned. This, every time I encountered someone whose behavior wouldn’t sit well with me.

I became too hard on myself. Whenever an ill-mannered individual crossed my path, I’d ‘scold’ myself for not having done enough inner work! 😦

“See, you’re still being disrespectful just like that inconsiderate individual. You still have not fully embodied the value of respect. That is why you’re encountering disrespectful people — again and again and again. Unless you have become a truly respectful individual, unless you have gotten rid of your tendency to be inconsiderate, you will not stop attracting these disrespectful individuals!

Oh my Inner Critic had a ball! 😀

And I became so enslaved — victimized? — by such a limiting belief. I was misguided by the [my] wrongful interpretation of the Law of Mirroring and Law of Attraction. 😮

Thankfully, I’ve had a paradigm shift. I can’t recall anymore what it was that led to the shift in my perception.

Just today, though, I again read Dr. Joshua David Stone’s Questions and Answers on the Path of Ascension and Self-Realization. Interestingly, I was drawn to his discussion on this very topic, “Am I attracting these negative people?

I’ll paraphrase what he wrote.

What I’m attracting isn’t the situation or the individual per se. I’m attracting and causing the opportunity for me to create a response of the most loving and highest vibrational frequency — instead of a reaction.

I AM creating the opportunity for me to keep centered and calm when the energies around me are chaotic.

I AM attracting the opportunity for self-control and self-mastery.

I AM causing the opportunity to enforce my energetic boundaries so that I don’t get sucked into the energy pattern and dynamics of those whose vibrational frequencies do not align with mine.

These toxic or negative individuals are certainly not aware of their pain and fear. The only way they know how to handle such energies is to pass them on. To spew them out. To project them to others.

It is their way of hooking others into their drama.

When I allow them to do that, when I get hooked into their drama by reacting — instead of responding — when I get thrown off-centered, when I, too, like them, start to become fearful and operate from a space of pain — instead of from a Divine Space of Love — I have not wisely used the opportunity to hone the skills that lead to self-mastery.

And it is the growth opportunity that I caused, created and attracted — not the negativity or toxicity per se. It isn’t because I AM negative or toxic — as the Law of Mirroring or Attraction implies when [incorrectly] applied to every situation.

As I hone my skill of discernment and put to proper use my sensitivity to subtle energies, I can determine earlier on the misaligned energies of such individuals or situations.

Before they move further along in their space of Fear and Pain, I can easily notice such energy dynamics and detect the misalignment in our energies.

I can quickly see the red flags. I can choose to walk away before I even expose myself to them. I can turn my back and not engage in any form of interaction.

And that is why I encounter such toxic and negative individuals.

It isn’t because I, too, am toxic or negative — aka disrespectful, abusive, inconsiderate, uncaring, manipulative, nosy, and whatever other negative trait they possess that I find repulsive — as the [wrongful interpretation of] the Law of Mirroring and Attraction implies.

It isn’t that. I AM not any of that.

It simply is because I AM creating the opportunity to hone my skill of saying no to their energies. To enforce my personal and energetic boundaries. To recognize and acknowledge their energies that I do not want to interact with — without any judgment — and simply say,

Thank you, but no, thank you.

They are my teachers. That’s all.

They are simply teaching me to master my skills. They are giving me the opportunity to grow and evolve.

They are inviting the full expression of the highest potential of my beingness —the demonstration of the master that I AM.

Nowadays, when I encounter someone whose behavior causes a repulsive reaction from me, rather than find fault in me, I simply ask myself,

What skill is this individual reminding me to apply in this situation? What trait is this individual teaching me to develop?

I then bless them and thank them for the growth opportunity.

That’s all.

Oh, I still get irritated and affected. I’m not going to deny that. 😉

But I’m much kinder, loving and gentle to myself. ❤

I no longer blame myself for someone else’s unloving behavior. I no longer punish myself for someone else’s lack of awareness and flawed character by looking for the same flaws in me. ⭐

Thankfully, I have now shifted my beliefs around why I magnetize into my field such toxic energies.

I still believe in the Law of Mirroring, though. I just don’t believe anymore that it applies to all situations.

Not everything or everyone is a reflection of what or who I AM.

There simply are individuals who have become so disconnected from Source, and they operate from their limited personality selves that they act and behave purely from a space of Fear instead of Love.

Of course, they’re doing it unconsciously, unknowingly, unintentionally. But that doesn’t make their ill behaviors more allowable or less offending.

And I can still be the Compassionate Observer and take note of the [misqualified] energies that they’re exuding.

But I don’t need to be sucked into their drama. I don’t need to play their game.

And I don’t need to give them permission to take part in mine.

I can extend compassion while not allowing them to be part of my life or my energy field.

I now love myself enough to do that. I now love myself enough to not berate myself for someone else’s wrongful behavior or toxicity.

Not everything or everyone is my responsibility. Not all of other people’s stuff is a reflection of my stuff.

There are times it simply is their stuff. That’s all. It has nothing to do with me.

I don’t need to do anything about it; And I don’t even need to have anything to do with it.


There sure is much wisdom in Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Four Agreements most especially,

Do not take things personally.”

😀 😀

# # #

Copyright © 2011-2015 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth


About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Brightest & Magical Blessings!!! Om Shanti. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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12 Responses to Law Of Mirroring, Law Of Attraction, And Not Taking Things Personally

  1. A says:

    I need to practice these things and hone my own skills. I need to re-read The Four Agreements. I have lost my center and let others affect my too much. Thank you for the reminder 🙂 and congratulations on your progress!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, and my pleasure to share! ❤ I'm happy to know that this served as a reminder for you. 🙂 I'm sure you, too, will make much progress — sooner than you may even think! 😀 Thanks for visiting and joining the conversation.

      Blessed be. 😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Incredible essay- filled with so much self knowledge. Saying no is so hard sometimes
    Thanks for sharing – this helped today.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is an important distinction you share, NadineMarie, because of the over-simplified ‘mirroring’ or ‘you attract what you don’t like about yourself’ or whatever version that’s usually shared, particularly in New Age circles.

    As you’ve noted, it’s more complex than that. Sure it’s possible that we’re irritated by something that we’ve not honored or acknowledged in ourselves, but it’s also true that sometimes we attract people as more of ‘complementing’ … like narcissists tend to look for and be attracted to empaths (and empaths are usually conditioned to thinking that’s ‘normal’ and so on).

    So I appreciate seeing a bit more of a nuanced perspective on what we experience and ‘attract’. Thanks for sharing it!



    • You’re most welcome Jamie. Indeed, there’s much over-simplification in New Age circles that’s quite confusing and misleading. Thankfully, we are more discerning and not simply blindly following! 🙂

      Thank you too for visiting and sharing your insights.

      Blessed be. 😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀


  4. Anonymous says:

    Thank you this has been very helpful for me at this time. I am going through my Chiron’s Return Phase and am finding my sensitivity to everything heightened. And I have been hard on myself about this. Your writings helped me to step back and put some things into perspective. Thank you 🙂 Lauren

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, you’re most welcome Lauren! 🙂 I’m thankful too that what I’m sharing has helped you. Receiving messages such as yours is a validation that I’m on the rightful path fulfilling my purpose and mission. So, thank you too for the validation! 🙂

      There’s tons of helpful information and invaluable tools and resources in the Internet on dealing with our heightened sensitivity. May you be led to them as well. ❤

      Chiron Return is such an exciting time — most especially when we've done the preparatory work that helps us navigate through this phase much more easily. If we haven't, no worries, being aware of the transit as we're going through it gives us the opportunity to start taking the rightful steps in dealing with our core wounds. We can then spend the next half of our lives being and living more authentically — and joyfully!

      I think the tendency to be hard on ourselves is a collective one. It's the 'more is better' mentality that pushes us way beyond what's necessary. So, yeah, may we take it easy and be easy on ourselves. That way, we can be kind and gentle not only to ourselves but to all others as well! ❤

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts Lauren. Much, much appreciated!

      Blessed be. 😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀

      PS. A Blessed Solstice if you're in the Northern Hemisphere! ❤


    • Oooops….. I meant ‘A Blessed Equinox — and not Solstice.’ 🙂


  5. Shawna says:

    Beautiful thanks! I needed this one. You rock!! Thanks for another aha! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Not Everything Or Everyone Is A Reflection Of What Or Who I AM — The Law Of Mirroring/Attraction NOT! | Aligning With Truth

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