I could have simply walked away. It isn’t a sign of weakness, defeat or avoidance anyway.
On the contrary, it takes much courage and strength to speak up. It takes guts to rise from the table and excuse one’s self even before the meeting is over, declaring to the rest of the group, “It is over for me.”
It takes a courageous soul to do that — to not participate in situations that aren’t worth one’s energies.
But I didn’t walk away.
I persisted. I chose to stay.
I saw the potential of the situation to be a most transformative experience for all of us — that is partly why I stayed.
The alchemist in me saw the opportunity for us to demonstrate our love for ourselves by ensuring that others accord us the respect that we all deserve.
The disrespectful guests were playing a crucial role in the alchemical process. They were our teachers, our blessings in disguise. They were teaching us that we — me, also a guest, the management, and the staff — were deserving of the respect. The inconsiderate guests were giving us the opportunity to speak up and assert our rights.
But I was the only one who was willing to do that. They weren’t. The management and staff couldn’t because they weren’t in that space.
I was the only one who saw the bigger picture and the growth opportunity. I was the only one who was determined and committed to a path of growth and self-mastery.
It was no fault of theirs, though. They simply were not ready. And their unreadiness — bordering on unwillingness — was becoming too much of a burden to me.
I still chose to look beyond the burden, though and rise above it — thinking, believing that difficult situations are part of the journey anyway.
I didn’t realize that it was already a message for me to stop my pursuit as it was a losing battle. Oh, I most certainly can be quite stubborn! 😀
I persisted and persevered in making them realize their worthiness because them not realizing that, as was the situation, was taking away from me my right to pleasure and enjoyment, rest and relaxation. The quality of my stay, after all, rests in their hands, albeit partly — in how they can make their guests more respectful and considerate of everyone else.
So, ultimately, admittedly, it is my pleasurable stay that I was after. Nothing else. That is what was at the core of my pursuit and perseverance.
Otherwise, much as I have the tendency towards rescuing and caretaking, I wouldn’t have gotten myself as involved in their operational issues. I wouldn’t have been as persistent or persevering in bringing to their awareness the learning opportunity that was being presented to all of us — if my joy and sense of peace were not at stake.
However, growth entails a change in the status quo. It requires getting out of our comfort zone.
And when one is being made to get out of their comfort zone, naturally, there will be resistance. When one isn’t ready for the change or refuses to grow, there can be no limit to the reasons — excuses — to avoid change.
As I wrote in my previous post, “I was pushing them [the management and staff] beyond their limits and capacities — perhaps even their personal will.”
To change, to grow requires letting go — even when we’re clueless on what’s next.
Once we’ve learned to align with the Divine Flow, though, we simply trust and believe. We know that the Universe has our back. We take risks.
When people refuse to change, they are not willing to take risks. And when they refuse to, we cannot convince them. We cannot push them to make the choice to change. We mustn’t.
When people refuse to change, we can only back off, honor and respect the choice that they’re making.
When people refuse to change, it is time for us to disengage.
But I didn’t disengage — even as I saw and felt how resistant they were to change.
And that is the learning opportunity for me — to back off as soon as I recognize the dynamics, as soon as I sense how it would only be an uphill battle for me.
And this learning is closely tied to and rooted in the skill that I’m mastering in this lifetime — boundary setting.
Sure, I was being presented the opportunities to master my skill of self assertion and boundary setting.
But I’ve realized that defining and enforcing my boundaries also includes recognizing when the situation is no longer worthy of my time and energy. Boundary setting includes discerning if something is still worth pursuing and persevering for, or if the most empowering and wise response is to simply walk away. To say no. Enough.
I thought that by choosing to stay in the situation and asserting my rights, I was giving myself the opportunity for others to accord me my much deserved respect.
I’ve realized that staying in the situation only served to perpetuate the disrespect because I wasn’t valuing and loving myself enough to say ‘no more.’
The act of disengaging, walking away from an unhealthy situation is as much a declaration of my Love and Respect for myself as is staying on, speaking up for myself and asserting my rights.
Not all opportunities are there for the taking. We need to learn to discern and to choose wisely.
There are some that show up for us to hone our skill of turning away because staying would not be serving us in any way.
When something takes too much effort, when it entails pushing, forcing, or struggling, something isn’t in alignment. We may be pursuing the wrong assignment. We may be setting ourselves up for disappointment.
For every opportunity, we can always choose to walk towards it or walk away from it. To stay or move away. To engage or remove ourselves. To say ‘yes’ or to say ‘no.’
Either way takes much courage and strength.
Not all battles are worth pursuing. Not all trials are an invitation for us to continue persevering.
Walking away isn’t a sign of defeat. We walk away simply because there is a misfit.
😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀
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