I had it all planned out.
I’d fix up this cottage where I had stayed for close to two weeks. It is the third resort I’ve stayed at on the island of Guimaras. I was sure it would be my new home after Sugar Beach — albeit temporarily, even for a few months.
I was to leave this weekend for the city of Iloilo to purchase the materials needed to fix the cottage so that I’d feel more comfortable. Repair work was to commence on Monday.
I was going to be left behind in Iloilo to make arrangements for shipment and storage of the stuff that I left at the resort in Sugar Beach last month. I was to go back and pack them towards the end of the month and come back to Guimaras around the second week of July with my newly refurbished cottage, designed and redone to suit my needs.
Ok! All set.
My dream of creating my new [temporary] haven will soon come true, yay! 🙂
Something was holding me back. Something didn’t feel quite right. Something was off. Way off.
Alright. Confession time.
Time to share some inside info and goings-on that are causing my doubts and hesitation.
Signs that I was beginning to ignore.
Red flags to which I was turning a blind eye and deaf ear — again, as has been my pattern.
All because there are significant elements that this place is offering that are hard to come by.
Elements that are my essentials and nonnegotiables in a living condition.
First, the essentials, the nice-to-haves, and other plus points…
Not only are the cottages made of native materials and are built far (and I mean faaaar) from each other, I’m the only guest at this resort. T-h-e o-n-l-y g-u-e-s-t! There also aren’t any other resorts nearby. It is the only one in this part of Guimaras. T-h-e o-n-l-y o-n-e! I’m finally having my much-desired peace and quiet in my midst, yay! 😀
My cottage sits on top of a cliff right by the water from where I am able to feast on daily sunsets and sunrises!
I am lulled to sleep by the sound of the water rushing over the rocks, and I am awoken by the rays of the morning sun peeping through the windows. I have been getting a really good night sleep and restful afternoon naps in the ten days that I’ve been here. I’ve made up for all the time that I was sleep and rest deprived at the resort in Sugar Beach.
The daughter-in-law of the owner who prepares my daily meals has shown me much care and concern. She has a very positive disposition and attitude in life and towards her work. She may have committed a couple of boo-boo’s, but it’s all part of the learning experience — hers and mine.
Now, the downside…
Boats pass by several times a day carrying visitors who are on an island hopping tour. There are times they would drive by as early as seven o’clock in the morning! Many of them would even come so close to my cottage making me feel like a live mannequin on display! Not ideal for my meditation and yoga practice, my writing and quiet moments. 😦
Water supply is a problem. And the water (for showering) is filthy! 😦
The resort hasn’t been properly maintained. The cottages are so run-down. The one where I’m staying is the only one that’s livable. It sure is in need of a lot of repair work though. For a night or two, it’s doable. But long-term, as is my intention, and with my standard and preferences, no can do. Hence, my decision to fix it up.
The Filipino couple who owns the resort has been separated — only physically, not yet legally — for more than a decade. They had just gotten out of a decade-long ugly fight over the property’s rightful ownership. They reached a compromise agreement only in March in favor of the wife. She gets to stay in the property while the husband has been ordered to move out.
The resort is now for sale. Well, the husband wants to sell it; The wife is undecided.
The couple who owns it doesn’t really own it. Not technically. Not financially. The husband’s European “friend” is the ‘real’ owner.
Because the guy is not a Filipino citizen, he cannot own property in the country. So, he placed the title of the property in the name of the Filipino couple. And that’s how they became the owners!
It is standard practice in this country — a way for foreigners to invest their money in the Philippines. And the ‘real’ owner who spent his money to develop the property passed on a few years ago. That even intensified the couple’s fight over its ownership.
The husband is a drug addict — a “drug lord,” to quote his son. (The European owner was an alcoholic. Friends of the same feather flock together indeed, eh?) He is desperate to sell the property. He needs the money to sustain such a toxic lifestyle.
One time, he and a male companion (a real estate broker, I think) showed up in the property unannounced. He didn’t inform his ex-wife who, naturally, also failed to inform me.
The resort isn’t gated or fenced. The male companion simply went straight into my cottage’s premises and started taking photographs. This, even after I had asked him to keep away and take photographs elsewhere. Naturally, I felt violated, and my privacy invaded!
The wife is here only during weekends. She spends the week in the city attending to her four-year-old grandson (an Indigo!) who has just started schooling.
Her toxic husband can easily come back another time — for whatever purpose. How sure am I that next time, he wouldn’t be the one who’d come to my premises? With his severe drug addiction, coupled with his unstable state of mental health resulting from decades of drug abuse, what happens now to my safety, security and peace of mind? And I’m still considering living here?!?! Hmmmm…..
And why am I sharing such details concerning the property and its ownership?
Because I realized just how much toxic, dark energies and drama surround the property — energies that I don’t need in my life! Such energies of manipulation and deception that have played out strongly in my family of origin and especially with my mother are energies that I no longer welcome in my life. And it is inevitable that such toxic energies would find their way into my energy field, eventually weighing me down — like what happened to me at the resort in Sugar Beach.
I have also experienced from the owner (the wife) a lack of respect and consideration towards me on a couple of occasions. Again, just like what happened at the resort in Sugar Beach.
Hmmmm….Do you see a pattern? I certainly do. I do now.
So, after my last post the other day where I shared how ‘oh-so-good’ I felt, I started feeling the opposite! That nagging voice was asking me how sure am I about my plans for creating my new haven just got louder and louder, until it became too loud for me to ignore and tune it out.
I reflected on all that I’ve written here. I probed deeper into that gnawing feeling.
And last night, I went to sleep 99% certain that I wasn’t going ahead with my plans. But I wanted to sleep over it knowing that I would know when I wake up the following morning.
And this morning, I just knew. Clearly. Unequivocably. Quickly and so magically, yeah! 😀
To be continued – Have I Just Found My Pot Of Gold At The End Of The Rainbow?
😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀
# # #