Assertiveness With Authority Figures: A Moment Of Gratefulness On A Sunday

Last month, I had a run-in with a government authority. I was presented with an opportunity to assert myself. And as has been the story of my life and my Divine mission, I was also being called to, once more, be a Truthbarer.

In an earlier post, I talked about my encounter with an irresponsible jet skier  — an opportunity for me to practice self-assertion. And I most certainly didn’t let it pass me by.

I wasn’t content with confronting both the erring jet skier and the owner of the resort where she was staying. I also had a conversation with the head of the rescue team. He and his entire staff were sent to be on the lookout for any untoward incidents after I reported my horrific encounter with the irresponsible jet skier. I met up with him because I wanted to get clarity on what were the city’s regulation, procedure, position and course of action for such incidents — especially repeated violations as was the case with the erring jet skier.

I was told that he holds a high position being in charge of the city’s Coast Guard and the Environment and Natural Resources Office.

One would think that someone with a huge responsibility would be highly sensible and knowledgeable even on proper jet ski operations. One would also think — or hope — that they would be more experienced in interacting with people.

At least I did.

But what was I thinking? How could I even think that? My [wishful] thinking was obviously completely proven wrong.

He was quite the opposite. He was obnoxious. Combative. Difficult. Arrogant. Full of himself. Intimidating. The epitome of a bully.

I’ve been told by those who have interacted with him that such is his personality. He has such a reputation. It is also, in all likelihood, because of his very close connection and affiliation with the city mayor.

He is the personification of a dysfunctional solar plexus and false sense of power at its finest! An example that is not to be emulated.

Our discussion was a truly exhausting one for me. He was attempting to push my buttons. His energy of intimidation was directed at provoking me. To make me angry. To make me behave like him — disrespectful and disempowered.

I kept my cool though. I certainly was seething inside, but I didn’t feed his negative energy. I wasn’t triggered. I didn’t react. I didn’t stoop down to his level. Despite his numerous attempts, I remained cool and composed. I didn’t even raise my voice.

I kept my focus on what I wanted to convey to him. I didn’t leave the conversation without having accomplished my purpose. I got to the root and bottom of the problem, and I got him to concur with me.

He eventually calmed down and lowered the tone of his voice. And at the end of our conversation, he even thanked me — sincerely, I must add! I did it, yes! 😀

I walked away from the meeting feeling victorious and empowered! I was the bigger person. I most certainly ‘won’ — without having the need to fight back or attack the way he did. 😀

I will admit — our interaction and the misalignment in our energies left me with a terrible headache! 😦

I had absorbed much of his toxicity. It took me days before I was able to release them from my system — thanks to my twice daily swimming.

Despite my victory though, I felt that there was still something that I wasn’t able to accomplish for myself. I felt that I wasn’t able to assert myself fully.

What do I mean?

Sure, I didn’t keep mum and allow him to intimidate me. I still kept mum though, in regard to not telling him that I did not appreciate the tone of his voice and the manner with which he was talking to me. I could have said that; I should have said that.

assertiveness_for_earth_angelsBut I’m not going to be hard on myself. And what’s helping me is what Doreen Virtue wrote in the chapter, “Assertiveness with Authority Figures,” in her book Assertiveness for Earth Angels.

“As children, we’re pressured to conform with the wishes and desires of authority figures and even punished if we don’t. So as adults, we may fear authority figures. We may feel too intimidated by bosses, teachers, or celebrities to dare to speak up honestly and be ourselves with such people. Fear always puts you into your ego. Your higher self, who’s one with God and everyone, is never afraid. Your higher self is 100 percent love and light from the Divine. Your ego, in contrast, is 100 percent fear and darkness. So when you go into fear about authority figures, you’re in your ego. It’s that simple— for all of us!

It’s normal for you to have physiological reactions to the stress and fear of facing an authority figure. This is hardwired into all organisms; plus, we’re schooled for years to fear and respect authority figures. A passive person never speaks up to authority figures, and rarely even looks them in the eye. The passive-aggressive person says angry words about authority figures behind their backs, and openly or secretly blames them for all of his or her problems. An aggressive person will confront an authority figure with loud and angry words or actions. But an assertive person will speak directly to the authority figure with honesty, poise, and grace. Assertiveness is the way to create positive change, and also to put you on the highest vibrational level in all of your relationships. This includes your relationship with your Creator, angels, and loved ones; your karmic relationships; your relationship with authority figures, and most important . . . with yourself.”

I knew this individual was the ‘head.’ It wasn’t until after our conversation though that I learned that he held such a ‘high position.’ Knowing that makes me feel even more empowered!

Having prior knowledge of his position, responsibility and close affiliation with the mayor may have influenced how I’d have dealt with him. I may not have been as fearless, I may, in fact, even have been intimidated. I may not have been as candid and spontaneous. Perhaps, I may even have chosen not to speak with him.

So, it’s very reassuring to hear that having “physiological reactions to the stress and fear of facing an authority figure is hardwired into all organisms.” When I read that, whatever tension and self-doubt I had melted away.

And I sure have dealt with him “with honesty, poise, and grace” — and directly at that. Not behind his back — which would have accomplished nothing.

So, yeah, I did it! 😀

I also wrote a letter to the city mayor and expressed my sentiments regarding the irresponsible and unregulated jet skiing activities — a gesture that made me feel even so much more empowered, yay! 😀

And tonight, on this Wesak Full Moon Sunday evening, as I took my nightly post-dinner walk, my path was brightly illuminated and tenderly guided by Mother Moon, with each step taken as a token of gratitude and appreciation for this experience. Each stride was intended towards a renewed direction and pattern of empowered self-expression and assertiveness — be it with authority figures or anyone else.

😀 😀

Copyright © 2011-2015 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

Advertisements

About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
This entry was posted in Chakras, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Assertiveness With Authority Figures: A Moment Of Gratefulness On A Sunday

  1. Pingback: History Repeating: Feeling So Empowered — Thanks To Irresponsible Jet Skiing! | Aligning With Truth

  2. saymber says:

    An image comes to mind like the scene from Harry Potter vs Voldemort – their wands of different energies meeting and vying for control. It sounds like this person needed to meet someone like you and be “disarmed.” People in authority roles can get pretty beat down being kind and then they choose the opposite to protect themselves and can overdo it. So funny I had a situation with this type of energy just yesterday! It’s hard to be the better person in these situations and like you, I leave them often physically, emotionally and spiritually compromised (you are an Empath also?). You did the ultimate clearing, detox…energy of Mother Moon. Like you clear a crystal! Where I live, North Texas, men especially, don’t learn much about peaceful conflict resolution and I’ve had to school a few about this! Love and light to you! Reblogging!

    Like

    • The resort staff who accompanied me to that meeting and I analyzed what transpired, and yes, that’s also how it felt to us — that he needed someone to disarm him. As I wrote, I am so thankful and happy that I didn’t know prior to my conversation with him how ‘high’ his position was. I was simply being truthful and authentic, respectful and mindful — and not at all giving my power away — even as he clearly was, albeit unconsciously, attempting to take my power away from me and engage me in a power struggle. Thankfully, I didn’t allow myself to get sucked into that drama. I refused to be put in defense mode — what he painstakingly was doing to me — and I was able to stir the conversation to the direction that I wanted. I accomplished my purpose and objective, and I came out the bigger person as I dealt with him “with honesty, poise, and grace.” Woo-hoo! 😀

      Yes, I am very much an empath-sensitive, and despite the difficulties and challenges that come with being one, I am ever grateful that I am empathic and highly sensitive! ❤

      As I have been sharing in this site, it is from Mother Ocean where I get my daily nourishment and replenishment that keeps me centered and balanced. At night though, yes, Mother Moon becomes my 'medicine cabinet.' 😉

      Love to you too and thank you for visiting and being part of this conversation! Blessed be. 😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • saymber says:

        I’m so glad to meet you in this cyber world and am comforted to meet yet another kindred soul in the realm of empathy. I too am grateful for my gift even if sometimes it’s excruciating. Blessings and light to you — keep shining!

        Like

  3. saymber says:

    Reblogged this on As I see it and commented:
    This is a great example of peaceful, assertive conflict resolution with a person in a position of authority. Many times people in these positions start out their chosen professions with positive intention and end up getting very bitter, callous, arrogant, angry…jaded…the only ways they are taught by current, mainstream society and culture to protect themselves from physical, emotional and spiritual harm. I think peaceful conflict resolution and anger management should be part of public education curriculum. Get somebody like Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer involved. A lot of what he does isn’t training dogs, it’s training people!

    Like

Any thoughts or feelings while Aligning With Truth?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s