Our Conversation, His Apology, My New Pattern

Our conversation happened spontaneously — like how it was meant to. As how I wanted it.

As my friend’s husband and I stood facing each other, I paid attention to how my body was responding. I felt my feet deeply rooted to where I was standing. I was very relaxed. No shaking. No trembling. So not how my body responded when he attacked me two weeks prior.

READ “Your husband is an alcoholic.”

There was no tension between us. No pulling — or pushing — of each other’s energies. I didn’t feel any residuals of fear or anger.

A simple, authentic acknowledgement of his mistake accompanied by a heartfelt apology. And a genuine acceptance of it from me.

For a brief while though, he started to give some justification for his wrongdoing — as is human nature.

But I quickly rejected his attempt. I nipped it in the bud. I didn’t accept the garbage that he was throwing in my direction. After all, there is no reasoning or explanation that makes any form of attack — from anyone — allowable or acceptable.

None. At. All.

Our conversation ended with him leaning towards me, lightly pressing his cheek against mine. An unexpected gesture admittedly, but one that I highly appreciate. One that I graciously received!

There was a gleam in my eye. A knowing grin. With my shoulders held back, my chin up high, I walked away from our conversation victorious. Empowered. Worthy. So, so worthy!

And full of Grace and Gratitude.

I did it! I asked for it, and I got it!

READ Feeling Victimized, Powerless and Worthless…Not!

Does this mean that I will no longer encounter intimidating, attacking, bullying energies? Is that the new pattern that I am creating?

Absolutely not.

What is shifting is how I respond when I encounter such energies. And I just know that more and more, I will be able to do so with more Empowerment and Confidence. Ease and Grace.

In the recent livestream of Marianne Williamson‘s weekly talks on “A Course in Miracles,” she pointed out that “Transformation is not about wishing something different would happen, but about looking at it from a different point of view.”

Growing up, I put up with all the abuse from my father — eventually from my mother as well — my siblings and I all did. The Karpman Drama Triangle that plays out in dysfunctional and abusive families was the family dynamics in our home.

READ The Drama Triangle: The Three Roles of Victimhood

There was much disrespect from each family member. Violence. Aggression. It is a pattern that found its way well even into my adult life — amongst us, and in my other interactions and relationships.

My rights had been violated. Rights that I didn’t even know I had — as a child or as a human being. Rights that I didn’t even know I was entitled to.

I put up as well with my father not apologizing for any of his wrongdoing. For not owning it. For not acknowledging it. Not overtly at least. A behavior that each family member shared.

But I am no longer choosing such a treatment or way of living and interaction — from anyone.

I am so deserving and so worthy of so much more. I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Respect, after all, is every human being’s birthright. Any being for that matter.

And when someone crosses the line — as is inevitable in Earth school — I likewise deserve an apology. And when I don’t get one, it is simply time for me to go.

No lingering. No second guessing. No justifying. No enabling.

Adios!

But….

Wait a minute.

Why wasn’t there any drama? Why no theatrics?

I had gotten so used to highly dramatic, intense exchanges and interactions in our household. It’s quite interesting that that part of the ‘old’ me was quite disappointed with the gentleness of the energy during my conversation with my friend’s husband.

I had gotten so used to all the drama and hysterics. Blaming.  Shaming. Screaming. Yelling. Finger-pointing. Put-downs. Tongue-lashing. Such was our family’s norm. So, to be exposed to the opposite is such a refreshing change! A much-welcomed one.

Hey, it is possible, after all, to resolve conflicts peacefully! Gently. We can work through our differences without raising our voices. We can have a civil interaction. We can express our disappointments and hurts calmly. Quietly. Softly.

And we can own up to our wrongdoing and take responsibility and accountability for any misguided action or speech.

I’m not used to it. But it certainly is my preference — has been for several years.

And it is part of the new pattern that I am, that I have been creating — with much assistance and support coming from the cosmos. I have been riding on the energies of the eclipse season, alongside the Spring Equinox, 7th Uranus-Pluto square and solar flares.

I AM creating the pattern of feeling worthy to allow only loving, supportive and respectful energies in and around me.

I AM creating the pattern of feeling empowered to face up to anyone or anything that does not conform to my standards. To remove myself and walk away from them — when necessary and appropriately.

I AM  creating the pattern of graciously welcoming and allowing conflict resolutions and any other interactions that are imbued with Calm and Serenity. Joy and Love — including ‘tough’ love.

I AM creating a pattern that is the norm in the New Earth. A pattern reflecting high-dimensional living and relating.

A pattern that I AM  determined and committed to bringing to my every cell and level of being, with the intention of helping bring more Light and uplift every other being.

😀 😀

Copyright © 2011-2015 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing, where I share my thoughts and reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...♥♥♥Nadine Marie♥♥♥
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8 Responses to Our Conversation, His Apology, My New Pattern

  1. It takes courage to walk away and stay calm … Many things are changing and its good to see how your experience and your new pattern you are creating is emerging.
    Here’s to the New Earth and Peaceful beginnings!
    Love and Blessings
    Sue

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Resurrection! May you be blessed! New life!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kp says:

    Lovely story….good for you….and for your friend and her husband for responding so welll!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: History Repeating: Feeling So Empowered And Damn Irresponsible Jet Skiing! | Aligning With Truth

  5. Pingback: Feeling Victimized, Powerless and Worthless…Not! | Aligning With Truth

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