“Your husband is an alcoholic.”

I freeze.

I feel rooted to where I stand.

I get weak in my legs and knees.

I can’t speak. Not a single word comes out of my drying mouth. My heartbeat races….almost exploding!

Adrenaline spikes.

I am oblivious to what is happening.

What did I do?

What the f#$k is going on?

I am at the receiving end of my friend’s husband’s toxic energy. I am caught unaware of his behavior — downright disrespectful, unacceptable, intolerable, inappropriate, unreasonable! It leaves me petrified —and traumatized!

And it’s all a result of alcohol intoxication.

For yet another time, I am being a Truthbarer.

I am instrumental in pushing the truth to the surface. Pushing my friend to face the truth —  finally. And to accept it. Painful — and shameful — as the truth may be.

“Your husband does not just have a drinking problem. He does not simply have an issue with alcoholism. The truth of the matter is….

your husband is an alcoholic.

I have long wanted to utter those words to her.

And now I have.

“Your husband is an alcoholic.”

Those words aren’t music to a woman’s ears. But they needed to be told.

My friend and I have had conversations about her husband’s destructive habit. But she has behaved and acted like most spouses of alcoholics — in denial.  She has also been his enabler for the longest time — as is the tendency of most partners of alcoholics.

When we’re in denial, we easily come up with justifications for ill behavior. We falsely look at the glass half-full instead of half-empty even when it is, in fact, filled with filthy water. We wrongfully, desperately, make ourselves find the blessing in disguise. We have a distorted view of the reality of the situation.

“At least, he only drinks beer — and not hard alcoholic beverages.”

“At least, he only starts drinking at noontime — and not first thing in the morning.”

“At least, once he’s drunk, he simply goes to bed and sleeps — instead of being abusive to me or becoming violent or obnoxious towards others and being an asshole.”

Except that he has.

He has been an asshole.  To me.

Image Source: http://rustyfi.deviantart.com/ ©2007-2015 Erik Restificar

Image Source: http://rustyfi.deviantart.com/ ©2007-2015 Erik Restificar

He attacked me — for something that I was falsely accused of. For something borne of his distorted imagination and intoxicated mind. He was prodded by his two other colleagues who are, what else, drunkards!

He crossed the line.

He exhibited an uncontrollable behavior.

Not only can he not control his drinking, but he has lost all control over his personal will and power. He has given them all away — to alcohol!

Anyone who has had issues with alcoholism or has been involved with one who has, knows that it is a losing battle — for everyone. No one wins except alcohol.

“Your husband is an alcoholic.”

I have been tasked to deliver the message. And I have.

I delivered it without any intention to harm, to blame or to shame. I delivered it with as much gentleness and compassion as I could.

Mission accomplished. Purpose fulfilled.

Thankfully, my friend has acknowledged and admitted — finally — that her tolerance of her husband’s long-standing drinking habit contributed to his worsening condition. A condition that I hope isn’t too late to address.

The behavior that her husband exhibited towards me has led to my friend’s wake-up call. Is it her husband’s as well?

Image Source:

Image Source: http://light-from-emirates.deviantart.com/ ©2007-2015 Hind alNuaimi

Hopefully.

It’ll mean one less lost soul.

It’ll be one additional soul embarking the path of healing and recovery.

It’ll lessen the darkness.

It’ll beam…it’ll bring more Light into the world.

I hope…I pray.

Up to you Source.

Over to you.

😀 😀

# # #

Copyright © 2011-2015 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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7 Responses to “Your husband is an alcoholic.”

  1. Thanks for sharing Nadine Marie. It sounds like you did just the right thing. Your story reminds me of this Sufi saying…

    Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, asks yourself, “Is it true?” At the second ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

    Like

    • I did Mike. I did exactly what was needed and called for, and at the most opportune time. Thankfully, it’s one thing I’ve learned over the years — timeliness. There is a time and a timing to everything, and I was simply waiting for when my friend would be ready to hear what I needed to say. And I’m so thankful that I’ve managed to hold my tongue, yay! 🙂

      Thanks Mike for stopping by and for sharing that Sufi saying — much needed reminder for all of humanity!

      Blessed be.

      😀 ⭐ ❤ ⭐ 😀

      Like

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