“Do you want to shine?”

More than a decade ago, I was involved in the preparation of our high school homecoming.

The chairperson and I were at odds. It wasn’t openly acknowledged. Only a handful of our batch mates had an inkling on what was truly going on behind the scenes.

I felt it at the onset. Admittedly, I didn’t have enough guts to face up to her. I didn’t have the tools to confront her in an empowered and empowering way.

Our individual stuff was definitely coming up to the surface. Insecurities, ego-related, fear-driven and unresolved issues. One severely wounded inner child interacting with another.

How much of these were we aware of at the time?

I cannot and will not speak for her. For sure though, I wasn’t as aware and as clear then of all my stuff that was calling out to be healed and cleared as much as I see it so clearly now.

Do you want to shine? If you do, I am willing to step down and give you the chairmanship.”

Seriousness was written all over her face. Seriousness was the tone of her voice.

I’m not sure though how much of what she said she really meant. But I simply sat there — in utmost shock admittedly — as I listened to her mouth those words. Words that were tainted with poor-me energy — albeit subtly.

Was it intentional? The poor-me drama and false humility?

Most likely not.

But I almost fell off my chair. Pun intended. 😉

I was dumbfounded. I clammed up. It was the only response I knew — then.

Even as I recall that incident and write about it now, I can still feel the sting behind her words. Whew!

I still shake my head now as I recall how I have allowed myself to put up with such energies — and for a prolonged period of time!

Mabuti na lang Nadine tumahimik ka. Kung nagsalita ka nun, talagang sisipain ko yung paa mo sa ilalim ng lamesa. (It’s a good thing you kept quiet Nadine. Had you said anything, I most certainly would’ve kicked your foot under the table.)”

A former classmate and close friend was there listening to the conversation. I knew it wasn’t going to be an ‘easy’ meeting, so I asked her to be there with me. For me. I needed her for support; She was to be my crutch.

Somehow, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the energy which was going to be hurled at me.

It was an opportunity to face my demons and acknowledge parts I had disowned.

It was also an opportunity for me to speak up and assert myself — which I didn’t.

But I didn’t know much of any of these then. And I can only be thankful that I know now. I know so much more now, thankfully!

And if I knew then what I know now, I most certainly would have said my piece. I would have stood up for myself. I would have given a different response. Anything other than silence. I might even have taken her offer for chairmanship! 🙂

Do I want to shine?

You betcha!

Why wouldn’t I? Why would anyone not want to shine? Why would anyone not be allowed toWhy would anyone even be asked if they want to shine?!?!

Duh…..

But that’s one of my many stark realizations from my experiences during that historical homecoming chapter in my biography.

I was playing small.

I was hesitant to shine.

I was afraid to let my light shine.

I was afraid of my own light.

I was afraid of those who were dimming my light.

And I granted them, unknowingly, the permission to dim my light.

Thankfully, my days of playing small are now a thing of the past. I am no longer frightened of my own Light.

Others may be frightened of it. They may be threatened, but I am not allowing anyone to threaten me.

Not anymore.

I am no longer allowing myself to be intimidated by other people’s fear and inability to recognize their own Light, making them dim my own.

I am giving myself permission to shine — as brightly as I possibly can.

I am allowing my Light to shine. That way, I am allowing others’ Light to shine as well.

ourdeepestfear

May we all — without hesitation, without any prodding, without any invitation or anyone asking — joyfully, effortlessly, brilliantly shine!

May our Light continue to shine and may we beam our Light ever so brightly — as brightly as the Moon tonight, in all her fully glory, this 2015 and beyond!

Image Source: http://activerain.trulia.com/blogsview/4569099/january-2015-full-moon-is-the-wolf-moon

Image Source: http://activerain.trulia.com/ The early Native Americans named the Full Moon in January as Full Wolf Moon. This full Moon appeared when wolves howled in hunger outside the villages. It is also known as the Old Moon. (Text Source: http://www.almanac.com/content/full-moon-names)

From my Brilliant Light to yours….Happy shining! Blessed be! Namaste.

😀 😀

Copyright © 2011-2015 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

Advertisements

About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
This entry was posted in Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to “Do you want to shine?”

  1. Keep shining.. and wow… what a thing to say to someone.. Yes we live and learn.. as we grow… So pleased your light only grew and grew.. Its amazing how those little things in our lives have huge impacts upon us..
    Wishing you a good week.. And I know your Light is Bright… Keep shining it for others to learn from..
    Hugs Sue

    Like

    • Thank you Sue! 🙂 And wow indeed…’what a thing to say to someone!’ And yes, we live and learn and grow — that’s what it’s all about. And grow my Light I most certainly am doing and will keep on doing!

      It is indeed interesting how those ‘little,’ seemingly uneventful things that impact us to our deepest core! Having written about this experience was a reminder for me to be ever-mindful in all ways and all days. What we do and say — and even those that we don’t — be it the ones that are uplifting or those that are shaming or put-downs, definitely affect the rest of humanity — directly or otherwise.

      Blessed be. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anonymous says:

    Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. I can so relate. I experienced this last year and have grown so much from it.
    Love & Light,
    Shawna

    Like

    • You’re most welcome Shawna! I’m pleased that you can relate. I trust that you’re celebrating how you’ve grown from your experience. Yeah to you! 😀

      Thank you for beaming your Light here Shawna. 🙂 Blessed be. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

      • Anonymous says:

        Thanks again…I’m sharing on Facebook. Glad my angels led me to your site. Looking forward to reading more and learning and growing. 🙂 Shawna
        Namaste’
        Blessed be!

        Like

  3. Pingback: The Lure Of The Latino…..Not | Aligning With Truth

  4. Pingback: Transcending My Rescuing Tendency — Thanks To Her Lack Of Apology | Aligning With Truth

Any thoughts or feelings while Aligning With Truth?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s