Is It ‘Loneliness’ or Something Else?

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Image Source: http://www.deviantart.com/ © 2014 Geraldine gestiefeltekatze.com

How can I feel lonely when there is so much joy, freedom and liberation that I’ve been experiencing from having chosen this path?

I’ve been asking myself this question ever since I published my earlier post. I talked about my experience of loneliness and feeling of isolation from having chosen “the path less travelled.” Those who commented and shared their own sentiments and experiences validated what I have known and read — it is indeed a shared feeling amongst light bearers. Such comments, naturally, thankfully, make me feel less “lonely.”

Why am I enclosing the word lonely in quotation marks?

After I had published my post, I wasn’t quite convinced that it is loneliness that I’m experiencing. I was conflicted. Something didn’t quite fit.

I googled the word ‘loneliness’ to find out its definition. I wanted to see whether or not the definition fits what I’m experiencing.

As I had intuited, not all the definitions apply to what I’m experiencing.

Being without company’ — Yes, I am ‘without company‘ but I’m not necessarily ‘lonely‘ because of it.

Cut off from others’ — Yes, I am ‘cut off from others‘ — especially from those in my immediate surrounding and from those in my country of origin (the Philippines) but it’s also my choice. And again, I’m not necessarily ‘lonely‘ because of it.

Sad from being alone’ — Certainly not! I like my alone time. I enjoy it. I need it. Lots and lots of it.

Sad from being apart from other people’ — For the most part, no. Depends on which people. Sad from being apart from like-mindeds — yes, especially since they’re not in my geographical area. As for the rest, the ‘unlike-mindeds’ — absolutely not. I’m happy being apart from them. In fact, it is the reason I keep to myself — I’d much rather be by myself than engage in interactions that do not feed my soul, as I also already shared in my post.

Producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation’ — Certainly not! I find this definition to be bordering on ‘depression.’

And this is where I started to get confused. I began feeling stuck.

Image Source: http://gestiefeltekatze.deviantart.com/

Image Source: http://gestiefeltekatze.deviantart.com/ © 2014 Geraldine gestiefeltekatze.com

Might I be confusing ‘loneliness’ with ‘depression?’

If ‘loneliness’ does not accurately describe my situation, what does? Might I be getting too hang up about the semantics?

Might I be having some judgment around the word ‘loneliness?’ Could it be the stigma of the word “loneliness’ that’s giving me a sense of discomfort?

Perhaps, at some level, I believe that there’s something wrong with the feeling of loneliness. That something needs to be done about it. That it is something that I need to address.

And maybe I am confusing loneliness with solitude. Maybe, I, like the majority, perceive solitude or being alone as lonely. After all, that’s what the definition says.

Except that, the definition doesn’t accurately describe what I’m feeling. And I also do not equate being alone with being lonely.

So, what can accurately describe my situation? If not ‘loneliness,’ what?

As I have shared in my post, there is no doubt that I feel disconnected. I also definitely feel isolated.

But the disconnectedness and isolation are either my choice or a result of my choice/s —my choice to distance myself from the ‘modern’ world, from those who are trapped in the limited 3D consciousness and way of life.

I journalled my thoughts and confusion. I researched about loneliness, solitude, isolation, loner and other similar concepts that might help me gain clarity.

Interestingly, while I was in the middle of figuring this all out, in the middle of my writing, for some reason unbeknownst to me — at the time — I was moved to check my blog site.

Voila!

I read Sue of Dreamwalker’s Sanctuary comments on my post that gave me an aha moment! She was also writing her comments at the same time that I was journalling!

Here’s what she wrote,

“I so relate to this. I too have pondered hard upon my inner most loneliness.. Sometimes I feel it may not even be loneliness I feel as a sense of detachment… And yet at other times an overwhelming amount of sadness sweeps through me.. Could this be not just a personal ‘Feeling’ But a ‘collective’ feeling..
I know I have at times too much empathy with the world.. Hence the detachment is a kind of self preservation control mechanism, that enables me to function.. Because we ‘See’ the ‘TRUTH’ of the world Nadine, we see how futile all of this striving to gain through greed is, How possessions dominate Living.. And that we have lost the ability to LIVE .. Mankind for the most part exists from one crisis to the next and its usually all based around Money and what it can or cannot buy him..”

That’s it!

Sense of detachment as a form of self-preservation.

Empathic. Highly Sensitive. Intuitive. Introvert. Those are a huge part of my make-up.

As I said, I’ve chosen to distance myself from the mainstream. Detaching from the world, and all its turmoil and chaos is my sure formula to survive. Perhaps the only one. After all, I have my inner turmoil also to deal with, and I need tons of solitude to deal with it.

Image Source: http://gestiefeltekatze.deviantart.com/

Image Source: http://gestiefeltekatze.deviantart.com/ © 2014 Geraldine gestiefeltekatze.com

And I do thrive on solitude. Being alone gives me much time and space for introspection, processing, inquiry, reflection — those that make me whole and balanced. Those that enrich my inner life. And the ‘activities’ that give me the most joy — swimming and writing — are best done in solitude. For me, at least. Swimming in the sea is my daily meditative, spiritual practice. Others that give me pleasure and joy are also mostly solitary activities.

And it dawned on me that my confusion and conflicted views may all be part of the shifts. As our beliefs and paradigms are changing, so do our perceptions and definitions.

And that includes our perception and definition of ‘loneliness’ — mine, at least.

# # #

Copyright © 2011-2014 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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11 Responses to Is It ‘Loneliness’ or Something Else?

  1. thenoveilst says:

    ‘Sense of detachment as a form of self-preservation,’ well said.

    Like

  2. starrystez says:

    I relate to this as I’m also an introvert who loves solitude. That said, I have experienced loneliness and need connection, but above all I desire connection to self.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Betsy says:

    INTERESTING…I had made a long response to your last “loneliness” post but then did not feel to send it. Something did not feel right. I could not entirely agree with the post and wanted to argue! Then of course I retreated in shame and confusion. Since then I’ve come deeper into seeing my own isolation/survival response. I appeared to be here on the outside but some part of me was crouching in the corner…or hiding in a symbolic outbuilding. I am starting to get in touch with her, allow her to express through authentic movement and sound. This is beyond loneliness. This IS more like isolation, disconnection, detachment for survival’s sake. I am not entirely at peace with it either. When I read this post, it feels more like Truth…or closer to hitting the nail on the head. I appreciate your integrity and ferocity about getting clear….being “off the mark” doesn’t feel right to a Sensitive does it?
    <3~ Betsy

    Like

    • Betsy, thank you for sharing your own process and reflections and conflicting thoughts and emotions. I’ve learned that I cannot be in complete agreement with anyone and everyone. I’ve also learned that arguing is a futile exercise and not a good use of my energy. Oh, it’s very tempting to, believe me, but quite draining too! 🙂 I simply need to respect where I am and where the other is, as well as whatever dissenting beliefs and opinions we have. Silence sometimes indeed can be golden! 😉

      Thank you for acknowledging my “integrity and ferocity about getting clear.” That is very much a part of my make-up and my journey — as is everything else that I’m sharing here in this site. All that and more….. 🙂

      Thank you for reading and Blessed be…
      ❤ ❤ ❤ NadineMarie ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

  4. “Sense of detachment as a form of self-preservation.” I literally just finished writing a post trying to capture the essence of this phrase. I wish that I had read this before beginning my post, because it beautifully captures what I am going through. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re most welcome Erica. 🙂 And I just read your post. Self-love, self-care — we need to keep reminding ourselves of that. And it’s a bit more challenging for women because we’ve been programmed to be nurturers — more of, if not only of others and at the expense of neglecting ourselves. Thankfully, that paradigm is shifting. Who would have thought that something as seemingly simple as saying “No” (to unwanted energies and activities) can be such a powerful exercise and act of love (of the self), eh?

      Thank you for visiting and reading. 🙂 Blessed be. ❤ ❤ ❤ NadineMarie ❤ ❤ ❤

      PS. I'm so jealous of you living in San Francisco. I so miss the Bay Area! 😉

      Like

  5. lovely post again… I believe we all share these feeling of ‘quietness’ or what ever name we give it as we detach from the old dramatic life… It is necessary to get to the void to be able to attune to all that is, the web of life that has no separation. Deep within we know and feel we are part of everything and to get by we just breath in life consciously and enjoy each moment however we choose to experience it. Take care, Barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Barbara. You’ve articulated it so well. Such paradoxes of life. The need to detach and remove ourselves from ‘the world’ in order to stay connected and “to get to the void to be able to attune to all that is, the web of life that has no separation.” Lovely, thank you! 🙂 Take care too and Blessed be… ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

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