Love Is Neither Given Nor Received

I didn’t have any big aha moments from reading Paulo Coehlo’s The Supreme Gift.

As to Henry Drummond’s The Greatest Thing in the World, the material from where The Supreme Gift was adapted, I’m not even sure if I’ll ever get to finish reading it. I’m not resonating at all with the material.

Does it mean that these books were poorly written?

I’m not saying that.

Do I mean then that the books didn’t have any significant messages for me? Or might I have misinterpreted the synchronistic way that I was led to these reading materials?

Not necessarily so.

When I hear something that rings true to me, it’s a confirmation of a belief which I’m already upholding, a principle which I’m abiding by.

On the other hand, when I come across something that speaks of falsehood, just the same, it still is a confirmation — of a belief in this case, which I do not subscribe to. I’m able to get more clarity on what those guiding principles are which I choose to not live by.

I get to practice discernment. That is the gift. I’m able to strengthen the power of my inner voice and follow its guidance and no one else’s.

The most obvious lesson in Christ‘s teaching is that there is no happiness in having and getting anything, but only in giving. I repeat, there is no happiness in having, or in getting, but only in giving. And half the world is on the wrong scent in the pursuit of happiness. They think it consists in having and getting, and in being served by others. It consists in giving and serving others. He that would be great among you, said Christ, let him serve. He that would be happy, let him remember that there is but one way — it is more blessed, it is more happy, to give than to receive.”

I was taken aback when I read those words from The Greatest Thing in the World. Red flag!

There is no happiness in having, or in getting, but only in giving… it is more blessed, it is more happy, to give than to receive.”


Might I be taking the writing out of context?

I continued reading but not without some reservation. Like I said, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to finish reading it. Probably not. I don’t feel any motivation to. I may have become biased already from what I had initially read which doesn’t ring true to me.

It is better to give than to receive.

For so long, I was trapped in that mind-set. I was misled by the belief that the only way I can find joy, happiness and fulfilment is when I forget about myself, and instead, think of and serve others only, to be self-less. To be otherwise, is to be self-ish — something to be detested and not aspire for.

Naturally, this thinking resulted in an imbalance in my energies.

I ended up giving and giving — to others and not to myself. I didn’t know how to give to myself. I didn’t know how to allow and give permission to others to give to me. I didn’t even think or believe that it was allowed. Of course, underneath all that is my false belief that I wasn’t deserving.


I realized that it was in this area where I was lacking the most. I simply didn’t know how to receive. I rejected every effort, all attempts of others who were giving to me. I erroneously thought of it as a sign of my incompetence and something lacking in me.

I first became aware of this when I attended the Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women® workshops by Alison Armstrong in 2008. (If you want to truly understand and appreciate the male psyche and masculine principle, as well as its female and feminine counterparts, and how these two can effectively and harmoniously interact, and they can, I invite you to attend these truly life-transforming workshops!)

I have since been working on my ability to receive. And like with any old pattern intended to no longer be repeated, it would resurface occasionally — before and until it is completely replaced with a new, empowered habit.

Recently, it made itself known to me.

One of my favorite blogs to follow is Brenda Hoffman’s Life Tapestry Creations. In our exchange of comments in her most recent post, she commended my “emotional honesty and beautiful writing skills.”

Admittedly, each time I’m complimented for my writing, there’s a part of me, a tiny part of me, that would still feel a certain level of discomfort and find it incredulous.

No, it has nothing to do with the genuineness and sincerity of the one giving me compliments. It’s simply a reflection of my lack of receptivity — still, and to a certain degree. Not having been used to being complimented and appreciated, it still is relatively new territory to me.  Yup, one of those deeply entrenched childhood-related wounds and issues that I’m determined to heal and address.

Brenda’s message to me truly struck a chord —

Please do accept loving energy and take in. Sharing love is as important as sharing information and resources. Both of us, as is true for so many Lightworkers, have had to learn how to accept love and support. Two extremely big pieces of this transition – and our life 3D and beyond.”

Having been reminded of the importance of accepting and receiving love and its significance during this transition, and with all due respect to Henry Drummond, one thing I know for sure, and with much conviction is,

I AM as blessed, happy, joyful and fulfilled in giving as in receiving. I give just as I receive — to others as much as to myself. Giving as much as receiving is as important and essential to my well-being. One isn’t necessarily better than the other.

Yes, The Greatest Thing in the World is Love, and The Supreme Gift of Love is more than enough.

But it is a Love that is given as much as is received — to others, for others, and by others, as well as to me, for me and by me.

Wait. I take that back. And without meaning to be blasphemous, please allow me to modify this Bible passage, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 —

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

And I dare add,

And Love is neither given nor received; Love is simply shared.

And to realize that, to know that, to practice and to embody that — that Love is neither given nor received but is simply shared — that to me is the Greatest Thing in the World and the Supreme Gift one can ever be showered with!

To Love be the glory!

Related article – The Supreme Gift by Paulo Coelho

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Copyright © 2011-2014 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth


About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Brightest & Magical Blessings!!! Om Shanti. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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