I didn’t even know that other people were dumping their garbage on me. Spewing out their toxicity. I wasn’t even aware that that’s what they were doing.
When I became aware of it, I didn’t do or say anything. I kept quiet. I suffered in silence. My coping mechanism.
When I increased my awareness and recognized the familiar energies, I began to realize that what they were doing wasn’t healthy for me. I began to assert myself. I expressed my displeasure over what they did. Oh it was very difficult for me! I had a lot of fear.
Sure I expressed my disapproval yet I continued to stay on in the relationship or situation. I didn’t know how to get out. I was afraid. Unknowingly, I was giving permission for the garbage to stay with me.
But I was actually being taught to get out of my comfort zone. To not expose myself any longer to those familiar energies — what I had been so accustomed to, having come from a dysfunctional family and abusive environment.
And I was and am determined to break the pattern of abuse. I am committed to self-love and self-respect.
Unblocking my root and throat chakras
Not only am I now mastering how to express myself and my displeasure appropriately, with much grace and confidence, not only am I pointing out to others their garbage, their toxicity that they’re dumping on me, I am, more importantly, making them pick up their garbage, their toxic energy, their poison. I am making them bring their garbage with them instead of leaving it behind in my midst.
I’m no longer giving permission to anyone to leave their garbage, their toxicity, their poison with me. I’m also no longer giving permission to myself to be tasked to pick up other people’s garbage and clean up their act for them, like I’m their savior.
This is your garbage; Deal with it!
Essentially my message when I spoke to the owners of the cottage where I stayed on the island of Siquijor, when I expressed all that I felt and thought about my experiences — my displeasure, my frustration and disappointment, my disapproval, my anger.
Sadly, although not quite unexpectedly, rather than owning up to their shortcomings, rather than admitting their mistakes, the owners were giving me all sorts of excuses for their wrongdoings. Very much a 3D, old earth behavior.
I didn’t accept it though. And I didn’t just keep quiet. I explicitly told them it simply wasn’t acceptable.
Setting boundaries — a root chakra lesson. Expressing myself, asserting my rights — a throat chakra lesson. Blocked root and throat chakras — manifestations of childhood abuse. Rootedness, childhood and family wounds — my core wounds which are coming up now for healing, as I go through my most pivotal Chiron Return.
And I took my lessons to an even higher level.
Breaking the pattern, finally
For the past three years, in all my island destinations as I manifest my geographical island home, I’ve experienced much displeasure as a guest and tourist.
But it’s only now that I finally mustered enough courage to submit a formal letter of complaint to the tourism office.
Sure, I complained to either the management or the owners themselves, or the local tourism office.
But when I was told to formalize my complaint through writing, I clammed up. I came up with reasons not to. Some valid, others simply excuses.
So to formalize my complaint and make it official is a breakthrough! A major one, yay!
And when I personally delivered the letter before I left the island, I was essentially leaving the energy behind.
I didn’t take the garbage with me. It didn’t belong to me. I didn’t want it.
Sorry, not mine! All yours!
I was initially even thinking of finishing the letter elsewhere, after I’d have left the island.
But that would have meant taking along the toxic energy with me. That would have meant bringing other people’s garbage — a most inappropriate and unnecessary excess baggage.
I was also running the risk of not finishing the letter. Worse, not even sending it — which was already what happened in my previous travels.
I am now truly breaking the pattern. I have in fact broken it, yay!!!!
“This is your garbage; Deal with it!”
I did it! I faced my fear!
I broke the pattern not only by actually writing and sending the letter of complaint, but personally delivering the letter to the Tourism Office before I left the island.
On the morning of the 17th when I left, at around four o’clock, with Mother Moon in all her full glory lighting the vastness of the sea, I did my burning rituals. I burned a copy of the letter. I released all the energies associated with my experiences — those which have served their purpose, and those which I no longer need as I move along in my journey.
I cut clean. I left the island cleansed of old energies and old pattern.
I dusted myself off of the misqualified energies — mine and others’. Especially others’.
I had habitually taken on other people’s energies. I no longer am allowing that.
I had accepted other people’s garbage which have been dumped on me. I am no longer accepting any of that.
Done with that. So, so done with that!
Accepting toxicity and garbage from others now forms part of my “Been there, Done that” list.
This is your garbage; Deal with it!
A new response. A new habit.
I gave back their garbage where it rightfully belongs — in their hands. That’s what I did when I had my conversations with the owners.
And by sending the letter of complaint to the Tourism Office, I am not giving the owners any chance to toss the garbage back to me. The matter is now between the owners and the Tourism Office.
I’ve rightfully removed myself from the equation, from the drama, the story, and the toxicity.
And I am sending this strong and clear message to the Universe —
I don’t deserve garbage and anything toxic; I deserve only the purest and most loving of energies.
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