“A gypsy. That’s what you are.” Not a few have told me that. And I sure can relate to a gypsy.
But the gypsy who is a wanderer.
I also don’t exactly fit that Merriam-Webster dictionary definition. Not the “without having a particular purpose or direction.”
My Geographical Island Home
I’ve been in “search” of my geographical island home for three years now. I’ve evaluated quite a number of islands and locations in the Philippines. I visited and lived in seven of them — long enough to know that those are not the islands for me.
So I have been, like a gypsy, moving around and going to different places. But with a clear intention and purpose of “finding” my island home. Not to simply “wander” around.
And yet, while reflecting on my experiences in the island of Camiguin, where I lived for five months, before I lived in Siquijor, my stay of which has recently ended, I wrote the following in an earlier post,
“Might I be intended to live a gypsy life, if I’m not already, without any “permanent” home, travelling and exploring? An astrologer recently told me that my spiritual growth happens when I’m travelling. Something about the travelling opens me up. And I can certainly attest to that. Might that be the way of life that will give me the most joy? Perhaps I’m being told to fully embrace and accept that. And that will help ease the burden and lessen the struggle.”
And I’m revisiting that realization now. Giving it a much, much more serious thought this time around.
My preference is still to have a more “permanent” home though. And yet, again, as I also already realized back in Camiguin, am I being reminded of the impermanence of things and of life? Here’s what I wrote,
“What can in fact be considered a permanent home? How do we define permanent residency? Non-attachment to things, people, places, situations — that’s one of the lessons I’m being taught. As is one of the teachings of Buddhism, it is our attachment that leads to suffering.”
I’m actually starting to feel some excitement now with the thought of hopping from one island to another as a way of life! I still have some reluctance admittedly.
And yet, maybe, the gypsy lifestyle is what will give me the most joy. Especially when I remove all expectations which come with the intention of establishing “permanent residency” in a location. Do away with all the attachments. Discard the t’s and c’s —the terms and conditions.
With all my experiences thus far, and especially the insights and wisdom that I’ve gained, and if I do truly and fully embrace the gypsy lifestyle, it can only get easier in my next destination/s. It ought to. The packing and unpacking, the coming and going, the letting go and moving on — these can only get smoother from now on.
Preferences and Essentials
I needed to do some island explorations to get clearer on what it is that truly gives me joy.
And maybe I have yet to do some more island explorations to get clearer on what my preferences and essentials are. To be certain that those are in fact my preferences and essentials.
Sometimes, it’s one thing to be clear intellectually. When we experience it, when we put it into practice, when we embody it, we realize they’re not one and the same. A preference becomes an essential, or vice versa. Or something we consider essential doesn’t only just become a preference; we even scratch it off the list altogether and replace it with another.
So perhaps when my preferences and essentials are aligned both in theory and in practice, that’s when my island home and I would finally meet.
I’m currently going through my Chiron Return. It is the most pivotal astrological phase when Chiron goes back to its original position in our natal chart. We wrap up the issues related to our core wound, and determine how healing from the wound can help others. In my natal chart, Chiron is in my fourth house — the house associated with our roots and origins, home base, family in general, childhood upbringing and the environment we were raised in, father image and relationship to the real father.
This phase I’m going through is definitely ushered in by the energies of my Chiron Return — getting clear about my concept of “home,” and clearing, cleansing and healing anything related to it.
Redefining the Process
As I’m getting clearer on all these, I’m likewise getting clear that I’m not in the process of searching.
When I say that I am in search of my geographical home, that’s what I’ll end up doing — searching.
So rather than searching, I’m in the process of manifesting and co-creating my island home.
And it is a process which clearly, surely does not include struggle and settling for less. I’ve already learned that.
And if the process is indeed manifesting and co-creating not only one permanent island home, but a home on an island, on where I’m at, at the given moment, as is the life of a gypsy, isn’t that what I’ve been doing already? Maybe I simply need to “formalize” it. And that’s what will give me a sense of permanency and rootedness, another concept associated with Chiron in the 4th house.
After all, each time people ask me where I’m from, my response has been, half-jokingly, “Wherever I am is where I’m from.”
Maybe it’s time I start getting really serious about it. To answer with much conviction.
Not only will that ease up my process and my journey. Every island I arrive at, I can easily and rightfully claim,
“I AM Home!”
And when the time is up and it’s time to go, off I go. No regrets. Not much expectations. No attachments. And truly, living in the moment.
A free spirit.
Just like a gypsy, isn’t it?
- And My Search For My Geographical Home Continues: My Camiguin Journey
- A Broken Snorkeling Mask For A Birthday Gift
- No More Excuses, No More Settling For Less
- I Deserve It All; I Want It All; I Can Have It All! – Why Siquijor Is Not The Island Home For me
- Chiron Return: A Most Meaningful Rite of Passage
- Chiron Return: A Soul Recovery
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