Life especially in Manila didn’t and doesn’t appeal to me anymore. In fact, I abhor it. Life in Manila sucks! Ok, to be more fair, any major city for that matter.
As I said in my last post, the feeling of disconnection from my countrymen was largely what led me to leave the Philippines in 2006 and head out to Northern California. A feeling that became even more pronounced, not quite unexpectedly, when I returned to the Philippines in 2010.
And I’ve since been on a journey of manifesting my geographical home on Earth, on an island where I can live simply.
Being balanced and energized by the healing waters.
Feeling the oneness with the animal, plant, mineral, elemental kingdoms, and everything that Mother Earth so generously offers — as we reciprocally nurture one another.
Living in Joy.
Beaming my Light.
Chiron Return: A Return to Our Core Wounds
When I was working on my final integrative project while attending graduate school in Northern California at John F. Kennedy University (JFKU), as I highlighted in my last post, my biggest realization was —
I will constantly search for a community, unless I come to terms with and be at peace first with the community that is within me.
And in all my island explorations thus far, each destination has taken me a step closer to being at peace with the community within.
Those years in Northern California. These island explorations after my arrival in Manila. They have been preparing me, leading up to my most pivotal Chiron Return which I’m currently experiencing.
I’m now realizing that as Chiron goes back to its original position in my natal chart in the fourth house, the house associated with family, environment, home, roots, origin, the father, as I deepen even further what I thought was already an extensive inner work, not only am I taking the journey of revisiting and healing from my core wounds from my family and country of origin.
I am likewise healing and integrating my inner community. I am on the path of coming back to my inner home.
Yet it’s dawning on me now that there are parts of me, members of my inner community, which are just as equally important. But which I have inadvertently neglected.
As I heal the wounds of my inner child, it is just as essential that I make peace as well with my inner parents, inner mother and father, inner siblings, inner sisters and brothers.
My inner family.
How much of my relationship with my family of origin, my relationship with my biological mother and father, my blood sisters and brother, is a reflection of my relationship with my inner selves?
How much of my biological family members’ individual strengths and weaknesses, their traits and characteristics which I admire and abhor, are just as well residing in me, albeit dormant?
How much of my countrymen is a reflection, a representation of my inner siblings I have yet to fully embrace?
How much of these people — my family and my countrymen — represent the parts of me that I’ve detested and rejected?
How much of my interactions with them, especially those which have given me so much displeasure, difficulty and disillusionment, are simply reminders for me to call back those aspects of myself which I’ve disowned?
Might all these experiences and interactions simply be a way to lead me to reconnect with my various selves,
to reclaim them,
to re-integrate and piece them together,
in order for me to be truly and deeply rooted in myself,
to be truly connected and be one with the Oneness,
to be truly home?
“Chiron in the 4th house is our roots and our sense of belonging, and it ultimately concerns our rootedness in the inner core of ourselves… the healing journey takes us inward to a feeling of being rooted in ourselves and our connection with the cosmos.”
~ Melanie Reinhart, Chiron and the Healing Journey
As Without, So Within
I get that I cannot be totally reliant upon the external forces, my surroundings and environment in order for me to be joyful and peaceful.
Or before I can be in joy and in peace.
I’m a firm believer though that there are areas and surroundings which are more supportive and loving, those which assist and contribute in maintaining the high vibrational frequency of one’s energies.
And I also believe that there simply are certain geographical locations that vibrate not only at higher frequencies, but at such a level which is compatible to me. More apt. A rightful match.
Yet, I’m also realizing that as I make peace with my inner family and inner community,
as I align all my energies within,
whatever location I end up choosing and residing in,
whatever island I find the most appealing and most in alignment with, be it among the 7,100 islands of the Philippines — come on, there must be at least one from those 7,100 — if not the Big Island, which is my ultimate dream,
whatever community I interact with —
it will then be “the one” for me.
Because as I come home to me,
as I come home to the Self,
when I am truly at home with me,
I will be at home and I will be home,
wherever I shall be,
wherever I eventually end up in this Earth life journey.
And while it is a truly wonderful and magical feeling when I finally land on an island that would welcome me home — the location, the place — that might simply just be geography.
Because what would truly usher in for that to happen is I would, by then, have already and truly come home to me.
And perhaps the joy wouldn’t be so much only from hearing the island telling me,
It may just as well be because it’s coming from, more importantly, my inner family.
Related articles and links:
- HELP! I’m unhappy where I’m residing….
- And My Search For My Geographical Home Continues: My Camiguin Journey
- Am I Being “Protected” or Am I Being Led & Guided? – My Reflections on Super Typhoon Haiyan
- Learning and Mastering Lessons – What’s the Difference?
- New Way of Living
- Making Peace With the Community Within
- Chiron Return: A Most Meaningful Rite of Passage
- Chiron Return: A Return to My Family and Childhood Wounding
- Chiron Return: A Soul Recovery
- Chiron and the Healing Journey by Melanie Reinhart
- Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner & Outer Planets by Barbara Hand Clow
- The Synchronistic Events That Led Me To My Inner Child
- Nonduality Consumerism by Rupert Spira
- Where Is Oneness? by Rupert Spira
- Rupert Spira: The Beginning of the End of the Separate Self
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