I am now at the end of my stay here on the island of Siquijor. A couple of days ago, I moved out of the cottage where I stayed for five months, the last three of which have been the most gruelling, that I shake my head in disbelief and heave out heavy sighs, as I recall the unbelievable incidents leading up to my eventual decision to finally move out.
I’m still gathering my thoughts, reflections and insights. I’m spending my last days on the island de-stressing and integrating my experiences which have been tremendous growth opportunities once again. It’s been quite a ride and what a journey it has been!
As with all my island explorations in the past three years, as I manifest my geographical island home on Earth, my lessons continue to show up. Same lessons. Same learning. The pattern continues. Recurring theme.
Self-assertion. Setting boundaries. Expressing myself. Speaking my truth. Valuing myself. Respect. Compassion. Self-worth. Self-love. Being seen and heard. Being a maverick. Embracing all of me, my strengths and weaknesses, my uniqueness, quirks and eccentricities, including and especially my being highly sensitive — without being defensive about it, without the need for any justification or the need to be accepted, approved or understood, and facing and overcoming any fears associated with it.
So why is this happening again? Why am I having similar experiences? Why the same theme and pattern? What did I not learn in and from the past that it’s showing up again? When will I ever learn? When will the pattern stop? How can I stop it? Completely, truly and fully. What did I do? What did I not do?
Even before I finally decided that my time is up on this island, these questions have already been reverberating in my head.
I really, really, really want to get it. I really, really, really want to learn my lessons and move on. I really, really, really want to stop the pattern and start a new one.
Why then did I attract the same situations? Why are the experiences similar? Why are the energies so familiar? Were the signs, the warning signs already shown to me but I simply ignored them? Why? Did I misinterpret the signs? What did I miss out on? What did I not get? What did I forget?
And before I begin to succeed in beating myself up unnecessarily, I come across this Facebook post from The Return of the Divine Feminine page. A very timely reminder and answer indeed. And the part that speaks to me so clearly says,
“When we experience negative encounters it is not about blaming anyone or the self, it is more about understanding the law of attraction. When we experience adversity it invites us to go deep within and strengthen aspects of ourselves that need to be strengthened and it allows transformation.
It doesn’t mean negative experiences cease after that, it just means that we are more fully equipped to respond in a way that allows for more protection and empowerment, because our Spirit nature is the most threatening thing to anything that wishes to use and abuse. “
I may be encountering the same experiences. The difference is how I respond to them.
And that’s what I’m doing differently this time. That’s what’s changing. It’s how I’m breaking the pattern and starting a new one.
By shifting the way I respond.
The energies of the people, places, situations, interactions — they may be the same but I am attracting them precisely in order to give me the opportunity to in fact break the pattern. To break the unhealthy, destructive, disempowered behavioral pattern with which I had been responding.
Now, I am responding differently. Choosing differently. Acting differently. More wisely and empowered. More lovingly. More divinely.
I am being a victor rather than a victim.
I learn my lesson at the intellectual level; To master it is to embody it and live it.
So I have indeed learned my lessons. I am now simply embodying them.
I am simply living them.
Related articles and links:
- The Return of the Divine Feminine
- The Return of the Divine Feminine Facebook Post
- Dancing Dragonflies
- And My Search For My Geographical Home Continues: My Camiguin Journey
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