There are no shortcuts to healing. That’ll only lead to spiritual bypassing. I already fell into that trap. In his book, Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters, Robert Augustus Masters, PhD defines it as “the use of spiritual beliefs to avoid dealing with painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. The tendency to avoid or prematurely transcend basic human needs, feelings, and developmental tasks.”
Repression. Rejection. Denial. Fragmentation. The by-products of spiritual bypassing.
So as I revisit the past and review my history, my purpose and intention is to release what has been repressed. Accept what’s been denied. Embrace what’s been rejected. Transmute the misqualified. Integrate. Re-balance. Re-align. To come full circle and to create anew. To create The New.
And it is just as essential that I write about it. My discoveries. Insights. Realizations. Aha moments. The process of reviewing what was is just as healing as writing about it, especially as how it relates to what is.
Yet the days leading to the appearance of Snake leave me wondering, might I be overdoing it? Overdoing revisiting the past? Am I digging too much?
When do I say I’ve done enough revisiting? When is it time to really and truly enjoy the NOW, the present moment?
Yes, there’s a very big possibility that what’s blocking me from manifesting my present, my new reality could be stemming from what happened to me in the past. Yet, might the very act of going back to my history be in fact what’s blocking me from living in the moment and creating my new reality?
“It seems that we constantly tie ourselves up in knots trying to live consciously and more authentically, but we believe that in order to do this, we have to understand the past and the future in order to define and shape the present. Of course this is true in some ways, but the more we focus on what went before and on what may, or may not, lie ahead, we forget the present and lose sight of the Truth of whom we are. There comes a time when we have to step back from digging in order to consciously awaken to the present moment.”
Another article by Janice Chrysler, Releasing Regrets, helps me gain even more insight and clarity,
“Letting go of the past is one of the greatest challenges we have in life. That Victim Archetype, which is in all of us, will hold onto anger, hurt and self-pity as it is easier to blame others for our lot in life than it is to step up to the plate and take responsibility for our life.”
And I’m taking a step back to make sure that I’m not falling into the victim consciousness. That I’m not allowing myself to be driven by my inner victim.
I’m currently going through my Chiron Return astrological phase. And I’ve become aware that a lot of this energy could also be influenced by my Chiron in Pisces.
In the article Chiron in Pisces: Surrendering to the Wounded Healer, Wendy Guy explains,
“There is a common thread running between Chiron and Pisces: the potential for suffering. If Pisces believes that suffering is noble and Chiron experiences suffering as unavoidable, their combination could amplify the experience and idealization of suffering. A spiritual approach to Chiron in Pisces might want to regard suffering as a noble end in itself. However, there is a risk of becoming stuck in one’s suffering and pain. The danger lies in believing that if you’re not suffering, it must mean you’re not working hard enough on whatever wounds or shortcomings you’re trying to resolve or heal.”
I am paying special attention that I do not fall prey to that. To the illusion that to suffer is to be noble.
Are the hurts truly still there, or is it my wounded little Nadine seeking the attention, appreciation, affection, affirmation and acceptance? Or is the emotional pain still there because my little Nadine is looking for these 5A’s? And again, I’m making sure that there is no judgment there. No criticism. Simply an acknowledgment and acceptance of what is.
Might I simply be feeling sorry for myself? Might it simply be the limiting belief that to wallow in my suffering, in my self-pity makes me admirable, noble and honorable?
Ahh…..Martyrdom and self-sacrifice. The shadow side of Pisces.
“Chiron in Pisces may ask us first to accept suffering as part of the fabric of life, without being tempted to take it upon ourselves and perhaps identify with a Christ-like figure who redeems others by taking away their pain, and feeling it for them. In this case, we identify with the victim, and the burden of unjustified suffering may seem to be our lot. If we believe in the redemptive power of innocent suffering without considering whether there is an alternative, we may be repeatedly drawn into situations guaranteed to result in more pain. Although the meaning of our life may be bound up with our experience of suffering, this Chiron placement invites us to sacrifice our attachment to it. What will we do without the familiar pain we know so well, the constant friend and companion who never leaves us? With Chiron in Pisces, we are invited to experience the state where we do not deny suffering, but neither do we react to it in ways that are guaranteed to produce further suffering.” [Source: Reinhart, Melanie (2013-02-04). Chiron and the Healing Journey (Kindle Locations 3225-3226). Starwalker Press. Kindle Edition.]
As with anything and everything, balance is the key. I’m being reminded to be careful that I am not over-identifying with the pain of the past, at the same time, I am not in a state of dissociation or total detachment, another form of denial.
Perhaps it also isn’t about completely erasing the pain or removing it from my memory, as that may result once more in spiritual bypassing or selective amnesia. Rather, it is about the practice of nonattachment. Nonattachment to the pain or the memory — relating to the experience but not identifying with it.
Practice being a witness. Embody the observer consciousness. Program myself to spend less time in that space of pain (emotional body) and bring myself more to the level where I see why it happened and focus on the gifts and blessings (mental body). Spend more time in the space where I see and appreciate the growth that I experienced. Interestingly, this is also one of the messages that Dragonfly delivered to me yesterday — the balance of water and air, the emotional and mental.
And after I’d balanced the water and air elements, my emotional and mental bodies, and after I’d have shed my skin, just like the snake, then I’d be able “to see the world from an entirely new perspective.” [Source: Andrews, Ted (1996-09-01). Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small (p. 361). Llewellyn – A. Kindle Edition.] I’d be able to operate from a victor rather than victim consciousness.
It takes a conscious intention on my part to do that and to lead myself towards that empowered space. But that’s how, the only way to raise my vibrational frequency. That’s how I create my new reality. That’s how to live consciously and authentically. That’s how The Shift happens. Through conscious creation.
And that’s one of the realizations that Snake’s appearance assisted me in coming up with.
To be continued
- Snake Medicine (Part 1)
- The Story Behind My Story – Snake Medicine (Part 2)
- Dancing Dragonflies
- Anchors of the Past
- Releasing Regrets
- Chiron Return: A Most Meaningful Rite of Passage
- Chiron in Pisces: Surrendering To the Wounded Healer
- Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters by Robert Augustus Masters, PhD
- Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation by John Welwood
- What Your Life Story Really Says About You
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