And My Search For My Geographical Home Continues: My Camiguin Journey

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted. It’s not that there isn’t much to post about. On the contrary, there’s been a lot going on. A lot I want to write about and share. And I mean A LOT. I don’t even know where to begin.

I’ve written quite a while back about how unhappy I am in Manila. I came back to the Philippines at just around this time, end of May, three years ago. It was  after a four-year sojourn in Northern California. Truth be told, the past three years have just been a struggle for me, particularly with my living situation.

I’ve mentioned that I no longer resonate with the energy of Manila or any city for that matter. Even while I was still in Northern California, I already knew that.

But I thought I could make a go of it — thinking and believing that Manila is where I could make the most contribution.  It is where the mainstream is and where the most people are. Therefore, the “more” people I could “help” and whose lives I could touch, the “more” fulfilled I could be and accomplish my mission.

Thankfully, I’ve since redefined that and I’ve become clearer on what it means to make a contribution, what it means to make a difference — that there are numerous ways that I can carry out my life work and mission, other than what I had originally envisioned and believed, when I was operating from a 3D level of consciousness. Ways I never imagined possible or even dreamed about.

What led to my search for a place I can call “home”

Not long after I arrived in Manila, in August 2010, I fell ill. My system was simply going haywire. I did the best I could to re-adjust and re-adapt. But it was such a pain and a struggle. The joy that I experienced while living in Northern California and which I brought with me quickly went out the window.

Getting ill pushed me to redefine for myself what it was that I wanted to “do” in terms of my mission and life work. An illness back in 1998 was already what started my healing journey and awakening process. My well-being has since been a top priority. Why then am I subjecting my body and my system to such harsh energies? Why am I allowing my body to experience less than loving energy from the environment or the people? Just in order for me to be able to share my gifts and talents and “help” others? What about the vehicle, my body, through which I am going to carry out my work? It didn’t make sense. Clearly, there was a misalignment. Something wasn’t right.

Forget about helping others Nadine. Forget about giving priority to making a difference to other people. Focus on yourself. Make yourself your priority. Love yourself enough to accept and allow only loving and kind energies in and around you — from people, places, and situations.

Ahhh…me and my messianic complex. Me and my caretaking tendency. Me and the limiting and false belief that I can only find fulfillment and live a purpose-driven life when I am being of service to others and helping them, being selfless and neglecting myself. 😦

My illness pushed me to finally admit and be at peace with the fact that Manila simply is no longer the place for me. I started my search for my geographical home on earth. Specifically, an island that would call me and tell me, “Welcome home.”

Camiguin Island, Island of Fire

I am now in the island of Camiguin. But not for long.

Camiguin is located in Mindanao, the southern part of the Philippines. I’ve been here since December 2012. And I’ve been to three other islands which didn’t quite work for me before I was led to Camiguin. In future posts, I’ll share my experiences in those islands, realizations and lessons learned.

As far as Camiguin is concerned, when I first arrived here, it wasn’t as if I immediately felt that this was the place for me.

Was that already a red flag? Most likely. I didn’t dismiss it though. I took note of it. But I gave myself time. I gave the island and myself a chance to get to know each other and see if we can develop a more long-term relationship.

And the island of Camiguin grew on me. The more I explored and discovered what she has to offer, the more I was getting to like her.

In the past five months that I’ve been here, I discovered things that I like about the island which I didn’t experience in other places. Yet I also am still looking for a few other things that I’ve seen, felt and experienced in other locations which are not quite here. I’ll share the details in future posts.

Is Camiguin the island from whom I heard, “Welcome home”?

Not really.

But it was my home for the past five months. And where I’m at now is preparing to head back to Manila. For how long? I don’t know.

The decision for me to head back was something that came quite abruptly.  Oh, it was such a stressful and exhausting week for me!  Something took place between me and the owner of the cottage that I was renting which pushed me to move out. I was so angry and full of negativity. Our really unpleasant encounter took place on May 11, around the time of the solar eclipse on May 9/10.

I already knew at some level that my living situation at the cottage, or maybe even in the island itself in general, was no longer serving my best interest.

But I held on. I didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want to let go. I was in my comfort zone. I didn’t want the inconvenience of starting all over. Again. Before I knew it, or perhaps because I didn’t want to admit it, I was actually settling for less.

And when the time is up for any situation or relationship, when it has reached its expiration date, and we still push our luck, and we’re a little bit off course, the Universe supports us by setting us up in situations which would finally push us, in order for us to remove ourselves from the unhealthy situation or person.

A nudge. A push. A jolt. A wake up call.

Whatever it takes for us to take action that’s most in alignment with our soul growth and journey.

I’m getting much more relaxed now. I’m also getting much clearer on what my lessons are. I’m also thankful that I’m no longer angry. I’m now keeping myself open to the possibility of coming back here. An option that wasn’t even there at the height of my anger.  Be it for a vacation or to continue my abruptly ended living situation…I still don’t know.

All I know is I am thankful that  Camiguin, with the variety of her terrain (white and black sand beaches, waterfalls, hot and cold springs, treks, lush greenery, seven volcanos) provided me with the environment and energies through which I was able to go so much deeper into my healing and clearing process and inner work.

Mt. Hibok-hibok, Camiguin Island, Philippines Photo taken by Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, MA 2013 © Aligning With Truth

Mt. Hibok-hibok, Camiguin Island, Philippines Photo taken by Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, MA 2013 © Aligning With Truth

I was so inspired to write.

I was able to overcome my fear of speaking up about some really deep stuff. I found the courage to bare my heart and soul out into the world through my blogging.

I’ve become even so much more comfortable and “at home” being in the water. My relationship with the water element is in parallelism with the depth and extent of my inner work.

I learned to adjust and to adapt to a “new” and different culture and environment. The island and her people provided me with yet more opportunities to set boundaries. To assert myself. To be even more comfortable with being who I am, no matter how different I am from the majority.

I became clearer on what works for me and what doesn’t, particularly in my choice of my geographical home on earth.

Someone recently told me, “There really is no such thing as a perfect place,” to which I responded, “I respect that but I have a different view. One only needs to be clear on what one is looking for in a place and what brings them joy, and then that becomes the perfect place for them.” And my Camiguin experience, if anything, brought me a step closer to what that perfect place looks and feels like.

More importantly, I became clear that struggle is no longer something that I want in my life. It doesn’t have to be part of my reality. I don’t want it to be.

Camiguin Island, Philippines Photo taken by Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, MA 2013 © Aligning With Truth

Camiguin Island, Philippines Photo taken by Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, MA 2013 © Aligning With Truth

I want only peace, joy and happiness. Nothing to be guilty about it because it is something that I so deserve.  And I only need to make the choice.

Joy can be a way of life. And I AM choosing that for myself. Because I deserve nothing less.

# # #

Copyright © 2011-2013 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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19 Responses to And My Search For My Geographical Home Continues: My Camiguin Journey

  1. lauriesnotes says:

    I can relate. My husband, daughter and I looked at many houses before buying our house and it was the one that felt right to all of us. It took 5 months and some work, but it was the right move. Now I feel lost as far as what I will do for work..as I am still focusing on raising my young daughter for now.. I know it involves continuing to heal myself as well..maybe holing the space for healing in some way. I like what you said about knowing what is your perfect place. I get so frustrated..and it does feel like my inner and outer realities aren’t quite aligned at times. I am starting to channel my frustration into my inner work a little more.
    Thanks for continuing to write and share your journey.
    Much love-
    Laurie

    Like

    • lauriesnotes says:

      oops- that was holding the space for healing. Maybe that is the way I understand taking care of myself and helping in some way.

      Like

      • Yes Laurie, what is “perfect” for one may not be the “perfect” place for another. We’re all different, with unique needs and preferences.

        As far as “work” is concerned, when you said you feel lost on what you will do, I too went through a similar phase Laurie. The process I went through was, I first defined what “work” looks like based largely on the environment, in my case, Manila. I’ve realized though that I need to be clear first within me what a life of joy looks like, what’s my intention and my passion, then all the external elements will fall into place. The Universe responds accordingly, including bringing to me and bringing me to the environment that best supports how I could be in the most aligned state, a way of life and beingness that makes me joyful. Then when I am in a state of joy, that’s how I’m able to be the beacon of light to others — wherever I go, whatever I “do”. I’ve become clear that writing and being in the water, living by the sea/ocean are the two things that bring me joy. These are things I didn’t even know or wasn’t aware of when I first arrived in Manila three years ago. And who knows what a life of joy looks like a year from now, etc. I am learning to live in the moment, go with the flow, flow with the tide — being in the water has taught me that and for that I am so grateful.

        And I am also so grateful and so appreciative of your visits to this site Laurie. For taking the time to read, to comment and share your own thoughts and reflections. I may have said this to you already. I’m not sure but I will say it again. It is through this kind of interactions that give me the validation, encouragement and inspiration to continue writing and sharing. And it is one thing that I am so grateful for for the internet — to feel so connected and supported by people whom I haven’t even “met” — physically at least, because I’m sure our souls have already connected at one point, be in this lifetime or previous ones.

        Much Love to you too Laurie. And yes, taking care of your daughter is such an enormous and admirable work, as I’ve also written about in previous posts. Taking care of you plus your daughter, taking care of you for you, taking care of you to be a truly nurturing mother for your daughter, taking care of your daughter for her to develop a foundation which will support and allow her to be a beacon of light for others — that’s a full plate! Let’s not forget your husband… 🙂

        Again, much thanks Laurie, much blessings, Keep Well, Be Light…Namaste…♥♥♥Nadine Marie♥♥♥

        Like

        • lauriesnotes says:

          Thank you for taking the time to write such encouraging words! Part of me is really freaked out right now so I am taking some time to tend to that part. I’ve learned it is ok to be a little uncomfortable and tend to it. I think what is so frustrating is this approach is so different than how we are taught to be in the world. It’s a new way. I’m getting used to it. It is so helpful to be able to talk to others living in this new way.
          Thank you again. I like what you said about connecting.
          I didn’t expect that when I started blogging.
          Thanks again,
          And much love to you-
          I am inspired by your continued healing. I think that is an important part.
          Laurie

          Like

          • Thank you too Laurie.

            The new way of living is most certainly a challenge. Breaking patterns, overcoming old habits, changing and shifting — it’s not a walk in the park. And yes, that’s because it’s what we’ve been programmed and taught. But I am still choosing it because I am strongly drawn to. I know it is what my soul needs for my growth and evolution. It simply feels right. And yes, not many people choose it because they’d rather go with what’s familiar, the status quo. They don’t want to be taken out of their comfort zone. Change though is inevitable. I’d much rather go for growth and transformation than stagnation, bearing in mind that to be kind to myself is of utmost importance as I learn, re-learn, unlearn, and making sure I give myself a pat on the back for every success along the way, no matter how seemingly trivial or insignificant. Every step closer to the new way of living and away from the old is a cause for celebration! 🙂

            I’m happy to hear that my own healing serves as an inspiration to you.

            Thanks again Laurie for your visits and taking the time to leave your thoughts and reflections.

            Much Blessings, Be Light and Be Love…Namaste…♥♥♥Nadine Marie♥♥♥

            Like

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