The Need for Personal Space

(This is the continuation of my earlier post, What I Am Learning From Laryngitis.)

Setting boundaries has been my life-long lesson.  I’ve had lots of practice and training in setting boundaries while being in intimate, romantic relationships.  And I am learning, still.  I don’t claim to be an expert and I am work-in-progress, just like the rest of us.

I’m not currently in a relationship of a romantic nature.  This time, I am being given the opportunity to practice setting boundaries amongst my fellow countrymen, the Filipinos, a people whose concept of boundary and personal space is so opposite to mine.

I am claustrophobic. I want and need huge space around me.  I feel stifled and my energies are restrained when I am in a cramped space.

Overpopulation in Manila, The PhilippinesToo many people. Too little space. With every passing second, there are more and more of us. By the year 2050, the global population is expected to pass nine billion people, a significant increase from the six-and-a-half billion today. In the Philippines, they are already running out of space. The capital of Manila is one of the largest and most densely populated cities in the world.Source:  Mads Nissen, Photographer http://www.madsnissen.com/overpopulation-in-manila-the-philippines/

Overpopulation in Manila, The Philippines
Too many people. Too little space. With every passing second, there are more and more of us. By the year 2050, the global population is expected to pass nine billion people, a significant increase from the six-and-a-half billion today. In the Philippines, they are already running out of space. The capital of Manila is one of the largest and most densely populated cities in the world.
Source: Mads Nissen, Photographer http://www.madsnissen.com/overpopulation-in-manila-the-philippines/

Crowds.  Busy streets and places.  Too many activities going on.  Very loud music. Shouting and screaming.  All these overwhelm me. They’re too stimulating and they’re just too much for me. I want to run away and get inside my cocoon. But much to my dismay, it is the energy and lifestyle in Manila. Yet perhaps to be fair, it is the energy in any highly urbanized, major city.

Add to that the toxicity of the worsening polluted environment, the congestion, the heavy traffic condition, the endless and unnecessary honking of horns, the garbage and littering, prevalent cigarette smoking. And where have all the trees gone?  Replaced with condominium buildings and shopping malls being erected left and right, anywhere and everywhere you go.

And this is why residing in a highly urbanized city like Manila doesn’t work very well for me. No. It doesn’t work at all.

Yet I’ve made efforts to make it work for the past two and half years.  Yes, two and a half long years.  I’ve painstakingly waited to get clarity.  And I’ve attempted to find a way on how I could make it work.

Why are you alone?

Image by Moyan_Brenn http://www.flickr.com/photos/aigle_dore/4044211790/

Image by Moyan_Brenn http://www.flickr.com/photos/
aigle_dore/4044211790/

My own personal space.  My private space. My sanctuary.

I need that to keep me sane. To keep me balanced and centered.  I cannot be around people all the time.  I need to be alone. I need time alone, lots of it.

And I am enjoying my solitude.  Tremendously.  It’s how I regroup myself.  It’s how I recharge and how I’m able to be the light, and live and shine my light.

Compare that with the Filipino culture of being group-oriented. It is a couples society.  Doing things and being alone is non-traditional.  It is a stand-out in this culture.

When you do errands, go out, dine, travel, etc., and you’re not with “someone special”, you’re expected to be either with a friend or an aide, a nanny.  “Wala kang kasama? Bakit mag-isa ka?” (You’re not with someone? Why are you alone?) Like something’s missing, something’s wrong. It’s a question I usually get asked.

But when you’re from another country, it’s a no-brainer. It’s a given. Like you’ve earned the right to be by yourself. It’s a non-issue.

And it’s one of the many things that makes me so different from the people of my country of origin. It’s one of the countless things that I’ve had to learn to re-adjust to when I chose to come back and live here.

It used to bother me quite a bit when I’m asked why I’m alone. They can’t seem to grasp the concept that a Filipina/o is alone and be totally okay with it.  Rather than letting me be, their need to satisfy their curiosity comes across to me as an invasion of my privacy.  An intrusion into my space.

When I’m having a good day and they’d ask me if I’m alone and why, my response would be, “Mag-isa akong tao, pero marami akong kasamang mga anghel at mga bantay ko.” (I’m by myself as a human being but I’m in the company of lots of angels and spirit guides.) 🙂

And that almost always shifts the energy and lightens us up.  It also makes them shut up. Much to my delight. 🙂

To be continued – Part 3: Defining boundaries in the Filipino setting

Related articles:

# # #

Copyright © 2011-2012 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

Advertisements

About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
This entry was posted in Chakras, Consciousness & Awareness, Environment, Healing, Health & Wellness, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to The Need for Personal Space

  1. Pingback: What I am learning from laryngitis | Aligning With Truth

  2. summerteifi says:

    Loved this. Reminded me that it’s okay to need time on your own, and a lot of it too! Thankyou. X

    Like

  3. Pingback: Defining boundaries in the Filipino setting | Aligning With Truth

  4. Noel says:

    Nadiemarie, being alone sometimes is one of my favorite things as well. I often enjoy the silence… the space… the awareness of the present moment. I am sorry you are having a difficult time being in silence where you live. I guess being single at the moment helps you a bit.

    Like

  5. Pingback: The Filipino (non-)concept of space | Aligning With Truth

  6. Pingback: Sometimes, the way to receive a gift is to receive it | Aligning With Truth

  7. Pingback: Giving myself a voice | Aligning With Truth

  8. Pingback: Resentment of spiritual authority | Aligning With Truth

  9. Pingback: Stop Over-Reacting When Bumped Into in a Crowded Place | StopDoingThis.com

  10. Pingback: Q&A: When Will They Respect My Boundaries? | Aligning With Truth

  11. Pingback: Coming Home to My Inner Family | Aligning With Truth

  12. Alex Jones says:

    Personal space is important for personal health. Great article.

    Like

Comments are welcomed and appreciated!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s