I was just starting to organize my thoughts to write about my reflections and what I learned from my one year of blogging, when another teacher with a very important lesson showed up through this site.
I am not completely closing my doors on people from my past. I am not totally dismissing those who were my co-journeyers when I was still so unawake.
For a long time now though, it had become clear to me that the people with whom I now choose to journey are those with whom I have shared interests and mutually aligned vision, values, and principles. I have also made the decision that if all we have is our past and a shared history, I will keep it where it rightfully belongs — in the past.
Last July, I received a facebook friend request from a former colleague. Curious to find out if he and I can now journey together, I checked out his facebook account. Not surprisingly, I didn’t find anything compelling enough for me to want to reconnect.
I didn’t respond to his friend request and facebook message. I was inspired and I chose instead to write a post to share my reflections about this experience — the very intention of Aligning With Truth. Here’s the link to that post.
This former colleague then sent me a message in response to my blog post. It was sent within a couple of days of my post, but I didn’t get to read it until I was “accidentally” led to his message only two weeks ago — four months after it was sent. Due to some technical glitches, perhaps thanks to Mercury retrograde, I read his message only on November 11. Yes, 11-11 — also the day of this blog’s first anniversary. It’s really interesting how the Universe and cosmic energies conspire to lead us to what we need to pay attention to.
Mixed messages and hidden emotions
I’m happy that, by his own admission, my post prompted him to do his own self-reflection. I’m thankful that he found my blog inspiring. I’m also glad that he appreciated that I kept his anonymity in my post.
However, without admitting it or owning up to it, he sounded hurt, disappointed, frustrated. Even angry.
I felt and sensed it hidden behind his message. Perhaps he was disappointed for not getting the response that he expected from me; Maybe he felt rejected. He reached out hoping and expecting that I would respond with the same level of enthusiasm and excitement. Rejection can be painful, and I can see how that may have triggered something in him.
Maybe part of him was still wondering and couldn’t accept why I am choosing not to reconnect with him — considering the close and long friendship we shared in the past.
I also sensed some skepticism on his part and some implicit tone of sarcasm with regard to who I am, how I “think of myself then and now,” what I went through, and where I’m at in my journey.
Without disclosing the complete text of his message — as I don’t feel that’s necessary — let’s just say that a person who has only the purest of intention, and is guided by their Divine consciousness, would have sent an entirely different message. Something worded differently.
I just find it interesting that the first message sent via facebook, “I am so happy for what you have become, knowing yourself and getting to where you want to be,” and the response to my blog post one week after, sounded like they came from two completely different individuals.
Although, there truly are several parts of us to begin with — sub-personalities that make up our being. Depending on which aspect we allow to take the lead role in every situation, and depending on our level of awareness and consciousness, we can easily find ourselves responding — or reacting rather than responding — in ways unimaginable.
But I digress… And back to his cynicism.
Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly surprised by his sarcasm over my transformation. I had long anticipated that kind of reaction from people who have known me during my “days of slumber.”
Anyone who has chosen the path of growth and conscious evolution is sure to face detractors. I was being reminded that the deeper I do my inner work, and the more visible I become — especially with the internet and social media — the more criticisms I am bound to receive. No one is spared — and I mean, no one.
“There’s never been any historical figure who was universally accepted by everyone. Anyone who’s made a difference in this world has had detractors.” ~ Doreen Virtue, author of “You Are A Spiritual Healer”
And I also knew it was one of those that I was going to face when I returned to the Philippines in 2010. I knew it was one of those that I was going to deal with when I decided to finally launch this site and get into social media.
I realized though that no amount of anticipation (or even visualization) can ever prepare me well enough to handle the energy of incredulity — when it is finally and directly hurled at me.
And this part of my journey is only now starting to come to the surface.
To be continued – Speaking My Truth
Related article – Is It Who I Have Become or Who I Am Coming Back To?
# # #