No one wants to be told what to do

When I was told what to do as I was growing up, I strongly resented it.  Because I didn’t know how to express my feelings appropriately, I often suffered in silence.  The anger would build up inside of me. Later in my adult life, it resulted in unsuitable and unhealthy outbursts — be it through words or actions.

On the few occasions that I was able to express what I felt, albeit and almost always with a tinge of resentment, I (and others) attributed my displeasure to my stubbornness.  It is a trait that I’d long been identified with, thanks to my Taurus Sun Sign.  Yet being labelled stubborn was again also something that I truly wasn’t too pleased with.  I allowed people to continue to characterize me as such while deep inside, something in me was making me feel not right about it.

I realized that what was perceived and dismissed as sheer stubbornness is truly my exceptional determination and strong will.  I also realized that perhaps most old souls, visionaries or more evolved individuals suffer the same fate.

When we don’t conform, when we go against tradition, when we disagree with the opinions or beliefs of other people, especially of the majority, when what others say about us doesn’t ring true to us, when what they want for us doesn’t feel right, when what they want us to do feels counter-intuitive, even if they believe it’s what’s best for us, and even if they are the so-called experts or authority in the field, it could be the voice of the Wise One within that’s guiding us. 

We all have that innate wisdom that we can tap into.  It is something that we’ve developed and acquired over the course of several incarnations.  And the truth is, no one really knows what’s best for us except ourselves.  No one knows what’s good for you except YOU.

“I don’t want to be told what to do”, was often my curt response when I later exercised my right to express my feelings and fight for myself.  And again, the truth also is, it isn’t only me who dislikes being told how to live my life.  No one wants to be told what to do. And no one has the right to tell others how to live their lives.

Yet, how often do we immediately jump in and fix the situation when we see someone going through what appears to us or what we perceive as a challenge? How quick are we to offer a solution because we “want to be of help”? When someone comes to us with a problem, we automatically give our advice.  When we’re not able to offer any words of wisdom, we feel helpless and useless.

The worst vice is giving advice.

No one wants to be told what to do. We can suggest and offer advice but may we do so only when asked.  And may we always allow the other person to either accept or reject our opinion.

Rather than going around, always on the lookout for whom to fix or what to fix in others, our focus instead need to be on OUR own journey.  No one really knows what karma is being played out.  No one knows for sure what lessons we individually need to further our soul growth.

How about offering a solution and giving our advice only when solicited? How about focusing on our own growth and evolution instead?

And when we find ourselves being the recipient of other people’s unsolicited advice or opinion, we can politely say, “That’s your opinion, I respect that. When I need your advice or want to know what you think, I will let you know, thank you.”

Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

Especially when it’s uncalled for, no one wants to be told what to do. Do you?

Next time we find ourselves offering our opinion or advice, particularly when it’s unsolicited, let’s ask ourselves first, “Is this something I want others to say or do to me?” If the voice that we hear says no, we know better what to do.  Or, we can ask the other person if they want to hear what we think, or are they merely venting or expressing their feelings and want us to just listen to them?

And perhaps rather than or in addition to giving a solution, how about making it part of our practice to remind others of their inner guidance that they can seek for counselling?  Wouldn’t that be even more empowering? Wouldn’t those be the most compelling words of wisdom one could ever deliver and hear?

The voice of our Wise One.  That is the voice that knows what’s for our greater good.  That is the voice that steers us to the direction that offers the highest potential for soul growth.

And that’s the only voice we need to listen to. That’s the only voice that truly knows what’s best for us. And the Wise One within is the only one that we can grant full permission to guide us and to tell us what to do.

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing, where I share my thoughts and reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...♥♥♥Nadine Marie♥♥♥
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10 Responses to No one wants to be told what to do

  1. Love this Nadine Marie. Most of us spend our time trying to fix everyone else instead of focussing on ourselves.J.

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    • Hey Jonathan! Yes, I was there myself. We don’t want to face the mirror and we’d rather fix others than ourselves. Glad I’ve learned otherwise. Thank you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts. Much blessings! ~♥♥♥NM♥♥♥~

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  2. Thank you for the inspiration. For this post.We are reminded of an experience where we can be telling others the thing we need to apply. We recently thought of a situation where we told a man that he may need to go within for guidance, forgetting that we spent lots of time recieving opinions from others ourselves. We bristled ! Yet your slow gentle easy writing style opened us up to that very thing.We softened up. Yes we want the best for him and ourselves. And in the same way we think we know, he knows too. Wow. Again,thank you for the feel good post. It’s all good.

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    • Oh, thank you too and yes, it does work both ways. Being mindful of what we tell others and what we’re told. I’m so glad this post hit the message home! 🙂 You’re most welcome and thank you much for reading and sharing your experience and reflections. Love & Light, namaste…~♥♥♥NM♥♥♥~

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  3. Noel says:

    I can identify with what you are describing here.. I consider myself a follower (although I am a leader at work) but I have strong opinions about certain things which makes me wonder about what others tell me I should do or believe…

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  4. Anitra says:

    Your description of yourself reminds me a lot of … me (fellow stubborn Taurus who silently filled up with resentment as a child). I wish more people understood the miracle of, and trusted, their own inner voice. Imagine how much less suffering there would be in the world?

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    • Hey fellow bull lady! 😉 You’re the first fellow Taurean I’ve encountered who has identified and admitted to a similar experience, how refreshing and validating, thank you! 🙂 The thought just came to me now and I wasn’t able to include this in my post. I don’t know about you but some people even (mis)interpret this stubbornness as hearing only what I want to hear and not listening to what they’re telling me (following is more like what they want). Why and how will I when my inner voice is telling me otherwise?

      The inner voice. Yes, if we can all lead ourselves and other people to the inner guidance, no external authority is necessary. And we can stop giving our power away and eliminate the power struggles. Life then becomes miraculous and magical! 🙂 True, less suffering, more peace and joy. We’re getting there…the New Golden Age, the New World, New Reality….

      Thank you Anitra for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Much blessings and Love & Light!…~♥♥♥NM♥♥♥~

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