Excerpted and edited from How To Clear the Negative Ego by Dr. Joshua David Stone, Marcia Dale Lopez, PhD., and Rev. Linda L. Schweke p. 100-108
Since most people on Earth have not been properly trained in how to master their mind and emotions and transcend negative ego thinking and replace it with Christ/Buddha/Spiritual thinking, everyone on Earth will have to deal with being attacked and criticized at times. One might think that great Spiritual Leaders might not have to deal with this like Jesus or Sai Baba; however, they probably had to deal with it even more than most because the more famous you are, the more negative egotistical people try to bring such people down.
Why do people attack and criticize others?
- They have not been trained how to master and control their own mind, emotions, and negative ego programming.
- They are run by fear. Fearful people attack.
- People are out of control. This causes them to get angry in a vain attempt to get back in control; however, this is illusion for their angry response is showing they are still out of control.
- They have a lack of self-love and a lack of self-worth.
- They are too run by their emotional body. When you allow your feelings and emotions to run your life, the negative ego becomes the programmer of your feelings and emotions.
- They are jealous. They suffer from low self-esteem and are constantly competing and comparing themselves with others to try to feel good about themselves. They are trapped in that negative ego complex of being better than others are or worse than others. These are really two sides of the same coin. This is also called living in hell, which is what negative ego thinking creates.
How then do you deal with this attacking and critical energy, be it in person, over the phone, or in a letter, text or email message, post or post comment, or any other form?
- Remain in your personal power, unconditional self-love and self-worth. Remain in your protective bubble of protection and let their negative energy slide off your bubble like water off a duck’s back.
- Remain completely silent and say nothing. It takes two to have a war or ego battle and you are not engaging in on.
- Listen to the points they are making even if they are communicating in a nasty irresponsible manner.
- If you do choose to communicate, do so in a very calm, rational, unconditionally loving manner.
- Go through each point and share your Spiritual observations and Spiritual discernments on each point.
- If you really want to gain the Spiritual upper hand, thank them for the feedback. (“Thank you for the feedback and I am going to take sometime to think about what you have said and I will get back to you when I do this.”) When you take your space and think about what happened, get a pen and paper. Write down the key points they stated in a list format and see if any of them have any truth. Get totally clear within self as to what is truth and what is illusion. Later you can go back and respond more intelligently after thinking the whole process through. Sometimes an even better way to deal with the situation is to not do it in person, but to do it by letter.
- Apologize if there is any area where there might have been a grain of truth in what they were saying.
- You can also tell them that it would have been your preference that they would have shared their thoughts and feeling in a more calm, rational loving manner.
- If you disagree on some points, frame it as you both have a difference of perception and that you should both agree to disagree without breaching unconditional.
When do you do something about the criticism or attack, or simply ignore, do nothing, and walk away?
Use good Spiritual discernment and say what is appropriate and know when to talk and when to be silent. Do not hand the person a loaf of bread if they are only ready to eat crumbs.
If there is no way the other person is going to learn their lesson and it is just going to continue being an ego battle, then what’s the point? The lesson is to do whatever you have to do to practice God Realization and Spiritual/Christ/Buddha consciousness and be silent. On other occasions, if there is a possibility for real calm, rational, unconditionally loving communication, do so. If you come to an impasse, then unconditionally lovingly agree to disagree and end the conversation by saying we have different perceptions of the situation and are seeing it through different lenses which is fine. End it by saying we can disagree but this does not have to create separation or lack of unconditional love between us my friend. The only purpose for communicating is if the other person is open to sharing and mutual learning and taking responsibility for their lessons. If they are not, what is the point? (This paragraph excerpted from How to Release Fear-Based Thinking and Feeling, An In-depth Study of Spiritual Psychology Vol. 1 by Dr. Joshua David Stone)
How do you avoid being dragged into attacks and critical energy from others?
One of the real keys to dealing with people’s attacks and judgements in life is to develop the highest level of clarity, integrity and flawless character you possibly can. When people do attack or judge you, you will stand on solid ground, and you will know that you have always done the right thing, and pursued excellence and the highest Spiritual ideals in everything you have done. When you are attacked or judged, you can look back at your actions and know without a doubt that you are clear and in integrity, and that the other person’s attacks are coming from their own insecurity, jealousy, low self esteem and competition. When you are clear within yourself that everything you do is in integrity and coming from your soul and Spirit, then other people’s attacks ad criticism will not be able to have any place to plant within you and will not be able to cause any self doubt.
What’s the lesson?
In conclusion, what I would like to say about this issue of how to deal with people’s attacks and judgementalness is that, “an attack is really a call for love.” There are only two emotions in life, and these are Love and Fear.
People attack and judge because they live in fear. See through the negative ego veil they are manifesting, and give them the unconditional love they are truly asking for. Their meaningless attacks and criticism have no effect on you unless you let them. Take the High Road and not the low road. Remain in your Higher Consciousness. Maintain your Spiritual and Psychological immune system and do not catch their psychological disease. Do not lower yourself to their level.
Let them think they have won, for in truth, by responding appropriately, as GOD would have you respond, who has truly won? You who have remained in a state of God Realization, or the other person who think they won but has truly won nothing more than their negative ego, and lost an opportunity to realize GOD.
My beloved Readers, do you see the delusion of the negative ego thought system? When I say you won, it is not winning in an egotistical sense; it is winning in a Spiritual sense.
Never forget your choice is always, do you want to be right or do you want love? Do you want love and peace, or conflict, attack and fear? In essence, do you want GOD or do you want negative ego? Do you want to pass your Spiritual Test and Realize GOD in that moment, or do you want the momentary illusionary satisfaction of attacking back and getting the upper hand on their negative ego with your negative ego? Do you want to learn your Spiritual Lesson now or do you want to have to reincarnate again and learn this lifetime next lifetime and maybe have them as your mother, father, sister, or brother? The choice is yours my friend.
Each moment of your life, choose GOD and not the negative ego and the Biblical words of the Master Jesus will be fulfilled. “Be ye faithful unto death and I will give thee a Crown of Life!”
For a more complete and detailed write-up, click on How to Deal with Attacking and Critical Energy from Others.
© 2001 Dr. Joshua David Stone
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