Are You Helping Or Are You Meddling?

When two people are not on speaking terms or had a falling out, and we are a mutual friend, it can be an awkward position to be in.

Sometimes, in our desire to relieve the awkwardness, we do what we can to make them reconcile.  Sometimes, we think no one is supposed to feel any anger or resentment towards anyone, therefore, everyone should be at peace with everybody.

Yet, what does it truly mean to be “at peace”?  Does it mean not having any conflicts, differences, or disagreements at all with anyone?  Does peace mean the absence of conflict?  Can one live in peace and be at peace yet not be with the person?

Because of our own discomfort, we are quick to jump in and fix the situation and mediate.  We think it’s our mission.  We think we are being called and given the opportunity to make the conflicting parties be “at peace.”  We want to help and be of service.

And yet, are we truly helping?

Wanting to help and doing something may give us the fulfillment.  Sometimes though NOT doing anything can be the most appropriate and effective thing.  Sometimes it’s best to just let people be and let the situation work itself out.  And we’re still helping by not helping.

“Believing that we understand the karma of others makes it easy to judge them.” ~ Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati, author The 11 Karmic Spaces: Choosing Freedom From The Patterns That Bind You

It may appear that it is “wrong” for these people to be distant yet there are many other reasons and possibilities that only the two people involved can truly know.  In fact, sometimes, they themselves are still figuring out what’s going on.

The relationship may have served its purpose and it’s time for the two parties to part ways, no matter how close they have been or how long they have known each other.  Who knows what karmic lessons are playing out and what spiritual contracts are being fulfilled.

When we insist on our own desire for their reconciliation, we may even end up losing the friendship, trust or respect of one or both parties who, for whatever reason, have chosen to be apart and distant from each other.

If we truly care for the person/s and they prefer to keep the distance between them, the most loving and appropriate thing to do is to respect their individual choices, regardless whether we agree with the choice or not.  We need to stop the urge to insist on our preference.

The worst vice is giving advice, especially when it’s unsolicited.

We are so quick to jump in and want to fix the situation.  Might we actually, subconsciously, be running away from our own personal issues?  Getting involved in other people’s lives and problems gives us a convenient escape.  Rather than fix our own lives, we’d rather fix others’ because it isn’t as messy or ugly.

We need to remember that a conflict can be an opportunity for reflection, forgiveness, growth — if the individual/s involved so choose.

People need space.  People need time to heal.  Sometimes it is the distance that helps people see things from a different perspective.  Sometimes, when we’re so caught up in the midst of all the drama and turmoil, we are unable to think clearly and our emotions get the better of us.  People need time and distance to clear their mind and energy fields.

A happy ending isn’t always being together and living happily every after.  It’s also not about having a happy ending, but being happy with the ending.

Two people can still have a happy ending by moving on peacefully and holding in their hearts the love or friendship they shared.  And just because two people are no longer physically together doesn’t mean they stop caring for each other. The ties that kept two people close to each other is not cut off just because they decided, mutually or not, to end the relationship and no longer be in each other’s lives.

In the subtler realms and higher dimensions, the bond is never broken anyway.  We are all interconnected and we are all one.

When we remember this, perhaps we can relax and trust that everything is occurring how it’s supposed to be and according to a Divine Plan.  Then we can stop meddling and simply allow things to unfold.  We can start truly caring and live our own lives, instead of living other people’s lives for them.

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Copyright © 2011-2012 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing, where I share my thoughts and reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...♥♥♥Nadine Marie♥♥♥
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3 Responses to Are You Helping Or Are You Meddling?

  1. So true, just can’t “rescue” anybody, except, maybe, by just being a listening presence willing to be still and listen to them verbalize and process their feelings and sort out their stuff. And it’s their stuff, not your stuff, which may be bottled up and stuffed within you.

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    • Yes, Rev. Paul. Many are misled by the rescue trap. And thank you for pointing out the importance of listening and keeping still. We’ve become such a species of humang doing rather than human being.

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  2. Pingback: Of Right Listening Instead Of Unsolicited Advising | Aligning With Truth

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