Forgiving And Letting God Take Care Of Everything – Part 3 of 6

(Continued from Am I not supposed to forgive seventy seven times and doesn’t forgiveness mean reconciliation? – Part 2 of 6)

Ipagpasa-Diyos mo na lang yan (Just leave everything up to God)”.

This is a commonly held belief amongst Filipinos.  It is deeply embedded in the Filipino culture and psyche which can be traced back to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Image by er1922 flickr.com

The psycho-spiritual and holistic approach to healing is my preference.  We need to work through our psychological wounds, emotional and mental issues that are causing a breakdown of our spirit.  And we need to face them squarely and boldly.  We cannot just leave everything to God and pass on the responsibility of our healing to God.  We cannot run away from our issues and our wounds or pray them away.

One thinking that’s blocking our ability to forgive is the belief that by some force of magic or sheer miracle, without doing anything except pray, we will automatically forgive.  This is magical thinking.   Through blind faith, we think and we believe that for as long as we pray, things will all just work out.

Well, God helps those who help themselves, remember?  So, we need to do our work in order for things to work out.  Otherwise, no matter how much we pray, how often, or even how many people we ask to pray for us and pray with us, things and our prayers are just not going to work out.

Don’t get me wrong.  I do believe in the power of prayer.  Totally.  Absolutely.  With or without scientific validation — and that is a whole separate post altogether (or series of posts).

But we cannot put a spiritual band-aid on a psychological wound.

There are various techniques and tools that we can employ to assist us in our healing and forgiveness process.  We can use them in addition to prayer.  They complement each other.

The spiritual ideals of any tradition, whether Christian commandments or Buddhist precepts, can provide easy justification for practitioners to duck uncomfortable feelings in favor of more seemingly enlightened activity. When split off from fundamental psychological needs, such actions often do much more harm than good. Spiritual Bypassing provides an in-depth look at the unresolved or ignored psychological issues often masked as spirituality, including self-judgment, excessive niceness, and emotional dissociation.

These tools include guided imagery, visualization or meditation, talk therapy, counseling, art therapy, empty chair technique, journaling, and bodywork (You’ll be surprised how much of our emotions are lodged deep into every cell of our body).

When all we do is pray and not use the appropriate psychological tools to address our emotional or mental issues and wounds, we end up in the pitfall of spiritual bypassing.

“Spiritual bypassing, a term first coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs.  It is much more common than we might think and, in fact, is so pervasive as to go largely unnoticed, except in its more obvious extremes.

“Part of the reason for this is that we tend not to have very much tolerance, either personally or collectively, for facing, entering, and working through our pain, strongly preferring pain-numbing “solutions,” regardless of how much suffering such “remedies” may catalyze. Because this preference has so deeply and thoroughly infiltrated our culture that it has become all but normalized, spiritual bypassing fits almost seamlessly into our collective habit of turning away from what is painful, as a kind of higher analgesic with seemingly minimal side effects. It is a spiritualized strategy not only for avoiding pain but also for legitimizing such avoidance, in ways ranging from the blatantly obvious to the extremely subtle.

“Spiritual bypassing is a very persistent shadow of spirituality, manifesting in many forms, often without being acknowledged as such. Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow side, devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.” (from Spiritual Bypassing:  When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters by Robert Augustus Masters).  For the rest of the excerpt, click here.

Today: I will reflect on ways that I can heal myself and work through forgiveness through the use of complementary techniques.

To be continued

64 Ways in 64 Days Nonviolence Daily Reflections Day 29 – Feb. 27, 2012

From The 15th Annual Gandhi-King Season for Nonviolence Jan. 30 to Apr. 4, 2012

Related articles

Forgiveness and what blocks our ability to forgive – Part 1 of 6

Am I not supposed to forgive seventy-seven times and doesn’t forgiveness mean reconciliation? – Part 2 of 6

Making amends:  The other side of forgiveness – Part 4 of 6

The gift of apologizing and making amends:  Expecting nothing in return – Part 5 of 6

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Copyright © 2011-2012 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth

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About NadineMarie (Aligning With Truth)

I find much joy & fulfillment in sharing my experiences & insights through writing & blogging. I created the site, ALIGNING WITH TRUTH as a virtual center for healing where I share my thoughts & reflections, as well as the tools & resources that are helping me as I move along the path of awakening & coming home to the Self. As I live in joy & align with Truth, I AM shining my Light which is how I contribute to the planetary & humanity ascension. Blessed be. Namaste...💗💖💜Nadine Marie💜💖💗
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2 Responses to Forgiving And Letting God Take Care Of Everything – Part 3 of 6

  1. Noel says:

    Great post! Many traditional Christians may not agree with you. But it doesn’t matter, because I believe that what you wrote here is true. It is so superficial when people teach that all it takes is to pray for healing, pray for peace, pray for the poor, pray, pray and pray. What about some action also? Jesus himself said that not all who will call him “Lord, Lord…!” will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. If we don’t feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and do something for the needy, He will reject us.

    Like

    • Thanks Noel and yes, I’m a non-traditionalist and very unconventional in my ways and thinking anyway so yes, it doesn’t really matter. But I do respect whatever beliefs others have. This is my truth and it is what has worked for me. Thanks for taking time to read and sharing your thoughts. Blessings, love & light, namaste!!! ~N

      Like

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