It is the time of the year when a lot of reunions and get-togethers are being held. The holiday season is a good excuse to see long-lost friends, school mates, colleagues and relatives.
Why do we want to reconnect with old friends? Why do we want to renew our ties with former school mates or work colleagues? What’s the intention behind rekindling old ties? Is it because we truly want to have a deep connection or are we merely curious? And curious about what?
When we reconnect with our long-lost friends, school mates, or colleagues, we may be setting ourselves up for disappointment. We may find out that all we have in common is our past and our history.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that attending reunions or get-togethers is a waste of time. What I’m saying is we all need to be clear, truthful, conscious and cautious about what our real motives and intentions are for reuniting.
Is it to further our personal growth and evolution through soulful interactions? Or are we merely curious to find out how everyone else is doing? And what is behind that curiosity?
While in school, if we were thought of as the one most likely to succeed later in life, and we are not doing quite well in our present lives, are we revisiting a time when we were doing well, only as a way to escape our current predicament? Or do we need an audience to whom we can pour out our sorrows and then turn the gathering into a pity party?
On the other hand, if we were the ones who didn’t do quite well in school, and we are now quite accomplished in our professional lives, might we not be using the get-together as a venue to brag about our success?
If we are still dealing with unresolved issues from the past, might we unconsciously be getting back at those who have wronged us, be it former schoolmates, teachers, school authorities, ex-bosses, previous office mates?
When we are fixated at a certain phase in our lives, we end up interacting with the people at the level where we were with those individuals during that period. When we attend our school reunions and we are still attached to our school days, we automatically regress back into those days.
Suddenly, we’re like those elementary, high school or college students again.
The Masks of the Past
We subconsciously still look at our classmates and treat them as if they’re still the class president and we automatically give our power away. Or we subconsciously still see someone as that shy, soft-spoken girl or boy who we all bullied and sadly, we continue to bully them up to now.
We’re stuck in the past unconsciously. We’re unable to transcend and see our long-lost friends for who they are now and who they have become.
We are operating from our limited, ego-personality selves rather than our Divine Selves, the part of us that sees only Love and looks only through Love.
We overlook the fact that after all those years, these people may already be accomplished in their own chosen fields and profession. They now have their own careers or businesses. They are well-respected in their positions at work and by their peers. They have their own advocacies that they are passionate about.
On the other hand, they may be going through a crisis in their life. They could be going through a divorce or separation. They may be grieving from a death in the family. They may be going through an illness. They may be at a loss as to what to do next with their family life. They may have been recently laid off or are re-thinking their career.
There could be a lot going on in their lives. And they could be anything but the student leader or the most popular boy or girl or the bully who always made us cry. They could be anything but the rebellious teenager who was always being called to the principal’s office.
A little sensitivity and some level of compassion can come in handy during these times.
But if we continue to operate from the paradigm as if we’re still back in our school days, we fail to appreciate the beauty of the gifts that this empowered and transformed individual is offering us now. And this can only happen if we bring our awareness within. In order to make the encounter uplifting and loving, we need to make a conscious effort of seeing beyond the choices that people have made in the past.
We can still recall the good old days. We can still muse over what happened. We can still talk about our experiences. But we cannot just be reminiscing all of the time. We cannot just be talking about the past each time there is a get-together. We cannot just be recalling the happy days over and over again. Especially more so, we cannot just constantly be retelling the incidents back then when some of us were not doing quite well at school, as a manner of putting them down now.
If our intention is to make ourselves look and feel good, at the expense of another, we could be escaping from something. We may just be using it to cushion and avoid facing the more important issues that we are currently having in our lives. We may be running away from a present challenge and going down memory lane to have feel-good moments. And if we hadn’t done enough inner work, we may be just projecting on our issues to them
We need to get on with our lives and come back to the present moment, to something more real. If this doesn’t happen, then revisiting the past is not healthy. If we’re doing it for selfish reasons, then perhaps it is not meant to be revisited. And if we have deep wounding that we haven’t quite addressed yet, then perhaps we need to embark on our healing path first instead of spreading our negativity.
Seeing through “evolutionary eyes”
We also need to realize that we can still have those feel-good and magical moments, at the present moment and with present moments. Those days of excitement and adventure can still be experienced with the same individuals now, but under different circumstances or new situations. Or we may also continue to be showered with the joy that our days of youth brought us, but with an entirely new and different set of individuals.
That is what it means to grow and to evolve. We can look back at our past using a different set of lenses. We can revisit the past through what foremost evolutionary leader Barbara Max Hubbard refers to as “evolutionary eyes” in the film, Humanity Ascending. Click here for a trailer of the documentary film.
What is truly important is for us to appreciate the gifts that the past brought us. What choices and decisions did we make based on what happened to us? What has come out of those experiences and what we have done with them? That is what matters.
What also matters is how we have put to use the gifts and talents that we have, whether they were already apparent then in our younger years, or discovered and developed only later in our adult life.
And for those of us who did not excel in our studies then, or were considered as one of the notorious or rebellious students then, how have we used those experiences to become wiser, kinder, and more loving individuals now?
Alchemy of Spirit
Have we allowed those experiences to discourage us and pull us back? Or did those setbacks in fact drive us to transcend? Did we use them as opportunities for growth? How have we made a difference? How have we contributed to make this world a better place? Are we now still the ugly duckling or have we transformed into a beautiful swan? How are we setting ourselves up now for a better, brighter future and a more loving and peaceful planet?
As Dennis William Hauck writes in The Emerald Tablet: Alchemy for Personal Transformation, have we learned to “turn base metals into gold and transform the lead of self into the gold of spirit?”
Sometimes too, no matter how close we were during our school days or how long we’ve known each other, there are just some things in life that don’t last a lifetime. Some people and phases in our lives have served their purpose and it’s now time for a new chapter to unfold. Relationships and friendships do end. It’s part of life. It is a fact of life.
And it’s absolutely fine to say, I am done with that phase or person in my life with an attitude of gratitude. And then be truly done with it while holding thoughts of love and sending them light.
Revisiting the past can be cathartic. It is an invitation for growth. But only when done with the intention that is aligned with truth and love.
When we are finally able to put a closure to the wounds of the past, it can be the beginning of profound and deep healing. And when we stop revisiting and reliving the past, and focus more on the present moment and who we are becoming, only then will we truly start living.
When we stop holding on to our past and we leave it behind, only then will we finally have arrived.
Next time you receive an invitation to attend a get-together or a reunion, or any other occasion or event for that matter, ask yourself, what is my intention? What is the intention of the gathering? What is the intention of the people organizing it or those attending?
Be clear, be truthful, and be conscious.
Attending with the intention of spreading love and light and having an attitude of seeing through the eyes of the Divine could usher in future present moments that may then be well worth revisiting.
And that is the true meaning of Christmas. The birth of the Child Jesus symbolizes the birth of the Divine Child within. How have we opened into the Christ energies? How have we embodied the Christ consciousness?
May we be aware of this when we attend our next get-together, and instead of gifts in fancy wrappers, may we bring the gift of being our Divine Selves, so we can truly spread love, peace and goodwill to all.
Hauck, D. W. (1999). The emerald tablet: Alchemy for personal transformation. New York: The Penguin Group.
Hubbard, B. M. (2007). Humanity ascending…a new way through together. [DVD] Santa Barbara, CA: Quantum Productions, Inc.
Copyright © 2011 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.