To everything, there is a season. And healing and grieving takes time. And it will take however long it takes for the individual to heal and to grieve. There is no clear-cut or proven formula. Grieving time is waiting time. It is allowing time.
Often, we are quick to judge and view the person as wallowing. But what can often be perceived as time for wallowing is actually time for waiting, and time for allowing. For healing and growth to take place. For both parties.
And in a world that’s so accustomed to quick-fix solutions, immediate replies, and everything fast and in an instant, thanks (or no thanks) to technology, we are forgetting that the human process of feeling and emotional development cannot be modernized. And it cannot be hastened. Technology does have its limitations too, no matter how advanced it has become.
And so the waiting time can feel like the longest time in our human experience. Patience indeed can come handy during these moments. And when we are waiting, all we can do is allow. Allow the process to take its own course.
After we plant a seed, we can only do so much in making it grow by watering it and sending it loving energy. We let the sun bless it with its light. We let the wind gift it with its breeze. We trust that when the time is right, the seed will grow and the flower will bloom. We cannot force it. We cannot rush it. We let nature take its own course. We allow it to have its own rhythm and cycle. And every plant, every tree, every flower has their own time to grow. Just as every individual has their own rhythm and their own time to grieve and to heal. Everything has its season. Everything has its time. And so goes the song………
In the meantime, we wait patiently. But we wait with enthusiasm and excitement, knowing that the seed we once planted will one day grow and blossom.
In the meantime, we stare at blank walls.
We feel heavy. Yet we feel empty. Even though we haven’t quite emptied out. We look out the window and watch the raindrops trickle down the window pane, while the tears roll down our cheeks. Until our clothes are drenched. Until we’ve consumed boxes and boxes of tissue paper. Sometimes we feel like there’s no end to the pain. Sometimes it’s as if we’ve already cried a bucket of tears yet we still feel burdened. Will there be an end to all these? Will the burden ever be lifted? There seems to be no end to our crying. Will we ever dry out? There seems to be no end to our suffering. Or so we thought.
Sometimes a strong rain topples down the garden we planted. We think it destroyed much of the garden. We think all the plants are wiped out. We think we will have no more flowers left to pick. We think we lost everything we planted. But we painstakingly yet patiently inspect every plant and every flower. We look for what we can still cultivate. We hold on to our faith. We hope and we pray.
And then we see a tiny speck of green peeping from underneath the soil. The seed we planted is starting to sprout. We rejoice! Alas, we start to see the fruit of our labor. We see the gift of waiting. We smile, faintly at first. At last, we see a glimmer of hope. There is hope. There is always hope. We see the blessing of allowing. Then we’re not only smiling. We’re grinning.
When we’re grieving, there could be nothing but hope. There is always hope.
Before long, the plant grows again and new leaves are formed. Its flowers start to bloom. We celebrate! We laugh heartily. We are in tears once again. Tears, this time, of gladness. Our hearts sing. Waiting time is over. We are at the end of our grieving. We are growing. We are healing. We are transforming. A new chapter is unfolding. We welcome a new beginning. And we are grateful for what was a painful and seemingly insurmountable ending.
We look out the window. The rain has stopped and the sun is brightly shining. We smile and the passersby smile back.
To everything, there is a season. And healing and grieving takes time. And it’ll take however long it takes.
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Copyright © 2011 Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nadine Marie V. Niguidula, M.A. and Aligning With Truth with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.